


Idalso Prod : Revive and Relive

by jinsolthebetta (zerocatastrophes)



Series: slurp's LOONA the standalone stories [1]
Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - After College/University, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Library, Angst and Feels, Bc idk really, Developing Friendships, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, If they gonna be together TOGETHER or what, Maybe just read and lets find out???, No relationship tags, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slice of Life, haseul centric bc y not, loona as filmmakers au no one asked, loonazone if you squint, ot12 friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:14:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27327892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zerocatastrophes/pseuds/jinsolthebetta
Summary: Jo Haseul is an aspiring director who goes back to her province in hopes of reuniting with Idalso Prod, the group she established back in College, with plans and hopes of making a film with them again for the second time.That was supposed to be an easy thing to do if it wasn't for whatever shit Haseul did 2 years ago that brought her eleven friends into catastrophe.OR: a loona the filmmakers au with a little bit of angsty history and a slice of life.*crossposted on aff with the same username*
Series: slurp's LOONA the standalone stories [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1995238
Comments: 8
Kudos: 22





	1. The Last Resort

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sooooo excited to make this one! I'm an aspiring filmmaker by the way so making this one hypes me up so much (pls hype stay with me till the end) however, I'm not yet knowledgeable about filmmaking. 
> 
> and that doesn't mean this story will focus on that (at least) this is more on trying to revive a friendship. yea, can you feel the angst? 
> 
> hope you enjoy reading this one as much as I am while writing this!
> 
> ps: setting in this story is set in the Philippines. yea, I had to. I only know my own country, lol.

Introduction to Revive Arc

Chapter 0: The Last Resort 

“Ms. Jo, I think you assumed this company had low standards.” 

Haseul wants to answer back, tell the woman she was wrong. There’s no way she will think of that when she’s applying for a job in this company in the first place.

Specifically, in her dream company. 

The company she had been dreaming of working on for years, ever since she saw the company’s first film. She was a witness of how _Skylight Productions_ bloomed its business and became every young filmmaker’s dream company. 

The woman continues, seeing the applicant staying silent, “The scenes are cut oddly, maybe your editor is the one to blame. You’re a director, right?”

Guilt was slowly flooding Haseul after nodding to the woman's question. For the sake of her portfolio, she became hands-on in the technical parts of film making. Haseul, for the first time, faced her laptop with the video editing software running on it instead of a _Microsoft Word,_ proofreading a manuscript.

“Some shots were kind of shaky too but I understand, gimbals are kinda pricey nowadays.” After finally getting a sight of the woman’s name tag Haseul figures out this was _Skylight_ ’s main cinematographer. Of course, she would check out the film technically. 

It was clearer than Haseul’s newly cleaned (and even shined) windows, she would never get accepted in this company. 

Lisa had a few clicks done on the laptop before pulling out the flash drive and giving it back to Haseul, “I’m impressed with your resume, honestly speaking. Eunbi told me beforehand you were rivals in a Senior High School Film Fest and she saw your film, it was the most exciting film she watched as an amateur--”

Haseul grabbed for her scarf beside her and let out a _loud_ cough. She couldn’t think of other ways to cut off the cinematographer without offending her. Great, a higher chance of losing an opportunity to join the company. The applicant bows her head, she can't speak anymore, not when she's still inside of this office, not when she's still in front of Lisa. 

Before Lisa continues to speak, someone barges in. Take note of the word, barge. 

"Lalisa!” The scene-stealer, with a wide grin on her face, waves and greets Lalisa. Haseul turns her head to Lisa when she hears her sigh, she by then starts to ask herself. Was she supposed to get nervous because of that?

The heavy stomps she’s feeling from her chest gives her the answer.

“What do you need—"

Before Lisa finishes her question, Eunbi answers, "The cast is complete, Li. Director is now calling you." 

"Director?" 

"Ah," Eunbi's tone became higher, remembering something she's supposed to say to the cinematographer, "She rescheduled the shoot for the documentary and called all the cast for the new film to come ASAP." 

Lalisa only nods in response to Eunbi's explanation and starts preparing herself to leave. 

Eunbi approaches Haseul by grabbing for her hand, "Ready to go, Jo?" The grin didn't leave Eunbi's face since she entered the room, Haseul wishes she can absorb some positivity from her. 

After nodding to her colleague's question, Haseul places her flash drive into her bag. She had been holding on to it for a while, acting like it was some sort of stress ball. 

As Lisa closes the door of the office, Eunbi swiftly sits on one of the couches, a few distances away from Haseul's seat then she asks, "How was it?", with excitement in her voice. 

Haseul breaths in loss of words. After a short deafening silence, Eunbi stands. She grabs Haseul's hands that come off kind of aggressive, she immediately apologizes, "This room is kind of suffocating, no? Been there." They both walk their way to the door, with Eunbi on lead, and seizes the knob to open. 

They were both greeted by a busy ton of people running everywhere. A rushing young guy with a black briefcase even accidentally bumped them from behind. 

"It was always like this when Director Jen is here," Eunbi murmurs when the young guy was far away enough from them. She turns her head to Haseul. "She pressures everyone like this. She sends out commands at the last minute yet wants us to do it quickly." She adds.

"What about you?" Haseul removes her hand from Eunbi's grip. "Don't you have something to do?" 

"Nah." Eunbi sways her hand in mid-air. "I already have done it before she asks me to do so."

"How did you…" 

"That's what she's been asking me to do always since I arrived here." 

"What is it?" Haseul asks. 

Eunbi giggles before she answers, "Getting her blazing hot pure black, no sugar, no cream coffee from the convenience store. Starbucks is actually her go-to coffee but these days she's out of budget so…" 

Haseul furrows her brows, her mind full of wonders as she listens to her colleague's summary of her one-year job story. 

"I also got the job sometimes of listing everyone's food orders including myself, so I guess I'm winning!" Eunbi laughs out but it volumes out when an older woman in formal attire passes by them, with a load of papers hugging on her chest. Eunbi offers assistance but a raise of hand stops her to do so, the woman walks faster. 

"She really hates getting help. Excuse her." 

Eunbi never lets negativity get through her. Haseul had always admired her friend's enthusiasm like that ever since she had met her in Senior High School. It seemed to be out-of-character as Eunbi got an intimidating aura for someone who meets her at first. Haseul was one of her victims. At least, Haseul was glad she got over that and even became close friends with her. Ending up with Eunbi offering her a job at _Skylight_ as soon as Eunbi found out the production is getting a new aspiring director. 

"Eunbi," Haseul calls her out. 

"Yeah?" 

"Is that really what you've been doing in here?" 

"Yeah?" Eunbi repeats her words, and then slowly ponders Haseul's question.

"Eunbi," With a confronting tone on her voice, Haseul says, "I don't think they are treating you right here." 

Haseul cannot believe at first what she heard from Eunbi's story but she needed to get her colleague straight. Her dream company wasn't that ideal after all. With how they treat newbies, they work here to pursue their passion and not to become assistants. Aspiring filmmakers didn't waste 3 years to end up doing tasks like their part-time waiters. In Eunbi's case, 4 years of creative writing and a year of filmmaking for experience in the film industry. 

"What are you talking about, Haseul?" 

"Look!" Haseul shouts and looks around the full white hallways full of doors and frames of movie posters to see if anyone's hearing them, scared as if she was about to expose a huge tea. Well, sort of. 

"They're treating you like shit here." Eunbi awes when she heard the latter swear. "You're here to become a screenwriter, not to be their slave." 

There goes Eunbi's chuckle again, Haseul hates hearing it.

"You've been here for a year but you're still going out to get someone's coffee and orders. What are you? A waiter? We have been doing that since we're interns!" 

Silence fills up the hallway. 

And Haseul was about to regret everything she had said. 

"I actually noticed that…" Eunbi places her hand on her chin, with her arm acting as a desk for her elbow.

"2 weeks ago I set them up in a deal. I ranted to the Director. Brave of me isn't it? I just confronted the most respected Director of Skylight Prod about my job when in fact I've been here for only a year." she adds. 

That decision got Eunbi shivering for almost a week. She almost printed out her resignation letter after she exited the Director's office at that time when she complained. She waited for days. Her job like a slave continued for weeks. Until she got summoned by the Director herself into one of the shootings. 

Eunbi was so ready to become an embarrassing show at that time. 

"Then it turns out, she wanted me to send her my best manuscript. She dismissed me early. I proofread my script and emailed it to her that night…" 

Hating the suspenseful cut, Haseul asks right away after the slight pause, "Then?" 

"The look test we're talking about with Lalisa earlier? It's my work." Eunbi had a smirk on her face as she said those words. 

"You're telling me…" 

"Yup!" The smirk didn't leave her face, she said proudly, "My manuscript is going to be a film." 

Haseul's eyes glowed, she tried to suppress her excitement, if they were not in a narrow hallway, she could hug Eunbi and scream the hell out. 

An achievement like this was already huge for a fresh graduate like Eunbi. Hearing the achievement kind of strike a pang on Haseul's chest, she could have been achieving the same thing as Eunbi too by now, or even more than that but she set it aside and expressed her happiness for the colleague. 

"Tell me when it's going to be launched! I'll watch it a lot of times!" 

"I will, sweetie. As soon as I find out the premiere night, I'll tell you about it and even snatch a ticket for you." 

"Nah! I'll pay for it. Art isn't supposed to be free!" 

Eunbi clicks her tongue out and shakes her head, "I hate you and your rich ass—" 

"So, how was it? With the job interview? Did you hire them in?" 

"Nah. It's cheap shit." 

"Wait, what?" 

"I feel bad for her, though. She didn't seem to work well with her crew at that film. Can't even see the chemistry with the cast. They look like random kids picked up from the streets." 

Eunbi and Haseul talked so much that they didn't realize they were already in the crowded part of the studio, the door was wide open and a gigantic green screen reached the ceiling and surrounding almost half of the room. 

Haseul holds Eunbi who was about to continue walking. 

"You sure? Even I can't appreciate it?" 

Lalisa shakes her head, "I know your love for amateur-made films, Jen. Because you always say you've been there too, we all here have been there too. But… they look like they were forced to do it. Like a sort of a High School requirement." 

"You're too harsh, Li? Did you save it on the drive? Let me watch it. You know most of the times we have different views in films—" 

"Well, no. I even accidentally deleted it from her flash drive because I fell into the thought it was our work. It was that trash, Jen." 

"You're too mean—" 

"Haseul!" 

Haseul flashes out her way off the studio. The exit door appears on Haseul's blurry vision that quickly so she didn't have a problem taking turns this way or that way. 

"Eunbi?" 

Eunbi's worried eyes turn to Jennie, the film director. 

"Who was that?" she asks. 

"Uhm.." Eunbi scratches her nape, turning to Lalisa who's also there, who was looking at her sternly, waiting for her response. "That was my friend." 

"The one you're talking about?" 

Eunbi shyly nods. 

Jennie faced Lisa, who was blank as a canvas staring back at her. "She heard it." 

"What?" 

She gives Lisa a disappointed expression before looking back at Eunbi. "You should have called me beforehand. I shouldn't have let this asshole interview your friend." 

"You were too busy…" 

"Well, chase her. Comfort her. Tell her if she's still ready to go, I want her to go back and let me interview her." 

Stunned by the director's sudden kind actions, Eunbi nods before running to follow Haseul. 

"You really suck at interviewing, Li. Do you know what happened a few years ago when you kicked out Chan? Well, he's one of the best now." 

Lisa falls into silence. 

"I swear if that girl turns out to be a gem and decides to build up her crew. I'll switch you and Seulgi. She's been wishing to be in your place for years now." 

* * *

"Haseul! Wait up!" 

Eunbi thanked the odds Haseul seems to be waiting for her at the waiting shed just a crossroad far from the studio. She looks at both sides of the road before crossing. She gets herself a seat beside Haseul, looking down with shuffled hair like cars ran past her when the road was too silent. 

"I knew it was trash, though…" Eunbi tries to hand comb Haseul's hair but the latter by then raises her head, with puffy eyes and tears dried. She sniffed but got a little loudly, she can't help but chuckle. 

"But I didn't know it was that trash. I wanna thank her for making me realize that." Her chuckle continues as she speaks but Eunbi only feels blue by that. 

"You know yourself it wasn't right?" Eunbi whispers. The mood got down by that moment, Eunbi cannot even offer a smile to comfort the latter. 

"No. It really was." 

"But… why did you pass that film then?" 

"It was all I have, Eunbi." Her head faces her newly stained shoes. The weather predicted what was going to happen by the end of her day here it seemed. 

"I can't find my chemistry with them but I don't have a choice. When you told me Skylight was going to have month-long hiring, I looked up some random film crews on social media. I was that desperate. I was even lucky I got comfortable with them, somehow." Haseul explains. 

"Damn, I wonder if they passed their job interviews with that shitty portfolio…" Haseul's chortle, instead of giving relief to Eunbi, only got Eunbi thinking of what the latter was thinking of at the moment. 

She bet Haseul got her own demons to laugh at her for her work to be called a cheap shit. If that wasn't the worst, it was still one of the most painful comments an artist could have ever received. Haseul surprisingly took it calmly. So it worries Eunbi so much. If that was her, she could have made a scene in this waiting shed, even let a car bump her hard so she couldn't wake up anymore. 

"Jennie got an offer for you." 

Haseul faces Eunbi with curiosity, "The director?" 

Eunbi tries to get back her fulfilling excitement from earlier. "She wants to interview you again when you're ready. The director might be treating everyone shit on the set but she's surprisingly kind in interviews. That's why when she interviewed me I got relieved that she was only intimidating. Well, just a thought." 

A minute didn't even pass when Haseul shakes her head and gives Eunbi a tight-lipped smile. "She'll see it as trash too. I can't handle two negative criticisms for a week." 

"Well, it's up anytime." 

"Nope. I don't want to waste her time." 

"No interview is a waste of time for Jennie. She enjoys watching films made by teenagers, I'm sure she'll appreciate yours. Knowing you, your works are beyond." 

"But not with what I have in my portfolio now, Eun." 

"Try to make a new one?" Eunbi suggests, it only made Haseul laugh like it was a joke from a comedy show.

"I don't even have a team!" Haseul didn't stop laughing but it somehow got softer, Eunbi is close to bringing her to the psychiatrist she knows seeing how Haseul is handling everything now. 

"How about that team from Senior High? What was the name of your prod? _Idalso—_ " 

"Don't ever mention that name again." The smile on Haseul's face immediately subsided and conveys a serious face to her. 

Now, Eunbi found out the problem. 

Eunbi had idolized Haseul's crew from the Senior High School Film Festival their school had set up from when they were in Grade 12. Her crew, _Enozi Films,_ were in the same place as Haseul's one time. She even got distracted shooting their own film by getting fascinated with _Idalso Prod_. Both of their crews got their own complete packages. In fact, their films were the most looked out for in the whole film fest. 

But Eunbi really finds _Idalso Prod_ interesting. She followed their shootings and secretly watched them when they were shooting at school. And no, it wasn't for spying. Eunbi was oddly good at catching a team's chemistry and she had seen it with Haseul's team. She indeed enjoyed watching their journey. She never misses a day not watching them even when she got her own. 

Because of that, she met Haseul. _Idalso Prod'_ s film director. 

"Why?" So it was indeed a surprise for Eunbi Haseul doesn’t want to talk about her old crew, or even mention it. She wanted to open up since she got reconnected with Haseul two months ago but they never got a chance. If destiny wasn't there to stop her from getting that moment, Haseul does so. 

"Got a bad past with them." 

Eunbi narrows her eyes at Haseul. When Haseul didn't get a response from the latter, she looks up to face her but only giggled at Eunbi's face. "What's with the face, Eun?" 

"Bad past? With them?" 

"Yeah?" 

"What kind?" 

"It's…" Haseul pauses. "Pretty bad. Long. Complicated. Traumatizing. Story." 

It only piqued Eunbi's interest, instead. 

"How about you? With Enozi? Got a pretty bad past too?" 

Yes, in this way. This is how Haseul changes the topic when it's about her friends from Senior High. 

And Eunbi always let it slide. 

"They got their own gigs now. Unfortunately, Hyewon didn't pursue photography. She got herself a resto. Yeah, still connected with her eating hobby, at least." Eunbi giggles when a memory slides into her mind about Hyewon's excuses for taking a break every hour. 

"Why don't you plan on setting up a team with Idalso again? You know for your portfolio again—" 

"Hey, how about Yena and Yuri? Got any updates from them? They were a pretty strong couple back then right? Are they—" 

"Haseul." 

Haseul wides her eyes on Eunbi. Making her stop when she hasn't even started to open up the topic again. Eunbi would never let Haseul slip this time. 

"What was it about?" 

"I told you Eun, it's a pretty bad, long, complicated—" 

"So that's why you're here in Manila? To escape whatever past you got into with them in that place?" 

Haseul had her mouth zipped, willingly receiving the sermon Eunbi gives her, not bothering how harsh the latter would be to her. There's no way she would speak about her past just like that. 

"Go back to Baguio." 

Haseul scoffs. "Hell no." 

"Don't miss them?" 

"I do though."

"Then why not go back?" 

Haseul pauses, trying to choose the right words to say to the latter. The exact words that can make the curious Eunbi stop asking her about this. 

"I fucked up. Big time. And I don't wanna remember it anymore." 

"But you miss them."

She heaves a deep, and shaky sigh. "They don't deserve someone like me. I shouldn't have even gathered them all for the film festival in the first place." 

"Hell, I don't think they want to see me." 

Why did she even come here in the first place? 

She should have seen it coming. Eunbi was also a part of her past, even admired them. She should have expected Eunbi will ask her questions like this. She should have come prepared, with more excuses on how to shift topics. She has done it before. 

She shouldn't have accepted Eunbi's offer by then.

From Haseul's periphery, Eunbi fished for her phone from her pocket. Haseul did not bother to ask what for. She grabbed for hers and booked for a ride back home. 

All Haseul has to do is wait. For 30 minutes, she can still manage to be with Eunbi, right? She had to. The road was silent and there's no way a miracle vehicle will come on her way and invite her for a ride. Destiny wasn't in her favor since Day 1, anyway. 

"Maybe the others don't. Except for her." 

Eunbi hands her phone to Haseul, with the screen lightened up. Haseul was about to avoid her gaze towards the device but then she saw the contact name appearing on the screen. 

"She's been bugging me since I started to work at Skylight. She thought we're work buddies and she wants me to update her about you." 

_Yeojin:_

_C'mon! I know ur hiding haseul in there she told you not to tell me hmm?!_

_I think she forgets shes been bragging to every1 she'll work in Skylight someday!! I think the others forgot but not me I'm sure she's in there grrr_

_You :_

_Ur wrong kid_

_I know haseul wants to work here but I swear I havent seen her yet_

_Yeojin :_

_Liar!!_

_Help me pls?? Atleast let her know its not her fault_

_Our other friends might blame her but im a mature kid!! It's not her fault_

_You :_

_Idk any business between yall but ok ill tell her_

_Yeojin :_

_SEE!!! Ur hiding her !!_

"It's only three days ago…" Haseul mutters as soon as she reaches the last message of that conversation. There were like a ton more above as Haseul has seen but she didn't scroll it up anymore. 

Eunbi reaches for her phone again and locks it. She wraps her arm around Haseul to reach the latter's shoulder and massages it. 

"Not everyone's mad at you at all." Eunbi's smile somehow brought comfort to Haseul. She wiped for her own tears, they fell as soon as she saw Yeojin's name on Eunbi's phone. 

"You really miss them, Jo. You should go back." Eunbi says while Haseul tries to recover from her crying. 

There's no way Haseul's emotions and her attachment for the kid would be betraying her right now. Her mind is committed to staying in this city until she becomes a successful filmmaker and after that, trying her skills to go Hollywood. That's her plan. She even bought a journal to fill it up with her dreams and plans. She learned it from her other friend in Baguio—

Haseul hushes her thoughts.

She survived not breaking down by thinking about them while she was busy making her manuscript in her little cozy condominium unit in the most bustling part of the city. Yes, they did slip on her mind but she can easily shrug them by singing on top of her head and problem solved. 

The amount of effort Haseul did to forget the eleven of them from that cold and gloomy place was crazy. She even made a new set of social media accounts and blocked them all there (except for Yeojin, though.) 

Haseul shouldn't have accepted Eunbi's help. She can handle this herself, anyway.

"Well…" Eunbi removes her hold from Haseul's shoulder. "I don't think they will be that mad to you. You've been here for what, a year?" 

"Going two." Haseul corrects. 

"Oh right. It's been a long time. For sure they will—" 

"It's not just a catfight, Eunbi."

Haseul was serious when she said her past with the eleven was pretty bad, scratch that, it's really really bad, long, complicated and— 

"More reason why you should go back." 

For the second time, Eunbi opens her phone and exits the messages app where Haseul read her conversation with Yeojin. Just seeing the younger's name strikes a pang in Haseul's heart. Yeojin was one of the names Haseul is struggling to forget every time the kid enters her mind suddenly, especially in the middle of her attempted meditation. 

Haseul checks her phone when she hears it made a _ding_. Fifteen minutes before her ride comes. Wow, she survived being with Eunbi. 

"Hello, Hitomi? Can you slip me a ride to Baguio?" 

_Oh wow. She's coming for a vacation._

If only it wasn't for the traumatizing past Haseul had in that place, she would've visited it every day. Hell, she wouldn't even leave! 

"No. Not me. Remember Haseul?—" 

"What?!" Haseul jerked on Eunbi who is now on a phone conversation with a certain Hitomi. As far as she knows, the Hondas, Hitomi’s family, own one of the largest bus lines in Baguio. Yes, she remembers her crew getting treated for a ride back home when that one-time Idalso and Enozi film in the same place. 

"Yes. I'm taking this girl back there. And please… whenever I call again, don't accept my declines. Just book her a ticket. Okay?— Hey Jo Haseul!" 

"Hello?" Haseul runs meters away from Eunbi, she's tankful the latter was wearing stilettos. 

"Oh hi? Jo Haseul from Senior High? It's been a while!" Hitomi greets her delightfully. Hitomi was one of the rays of sunshine of Eunbi's crew way back. That's why she and the other members of her crew, Jiwoo, click together. 

_No, not another name again._

"Yeah, right. It's been a while." She greets back, with awkwardness visible in her voice. 

"What's up?" 

"Uhm…" Haseul looks back, she sees Eunbi standing at the edge of the waiting shed with crossed arms, deadpanning at her. "Please don't book me a ticket." 

"Oh?" A click was heard from Hitomi's line. "Sorry, too late." 

"What?"

"The moment you said that I already booked you a ticket." 

"What?!" 

Hitomi chuckles nervously, "Sorry, Jo. I'm working as the cashier right now so I was able to do it right away. I can't have this refunded either because your name is printed on it." 

Sometimes Haseul hates technology for being so fast, except for the fact that the rise of the digital age itself is the source of her passion and income. 

Specifically, for this situation. 

Why does it require her name to be entered?! 

"Well… I can sell it, right?" 

"Hmm…" The pause makes Haseul's heart skip its beat. "Yes, you can." 

Haseul silently mouths a yes. 

"If you can find another Jo Haseul in there. Good luck, though. I booked your ticket for two days from now." 

Can she accept this ticket and go to Hitomi's booth in Baguio just to pinch her cheeks out of frustration? And a few giggles. 

"So I don't have a choice?" 

"Yeah, basically." Hitomi giggles, Haseul's frustration is a bit away before it's full. 

Haseul releases a disappointed sigh. She doesn't know if her ears are tricking her but she heard another giggle from the other line. 

"Hey but Haseul…" Why do people love to pause for suspense? "Sorry for being nosy but I know why you're there and why you're scared to go back." 

When Haseul zips her mouth and decides to hear the younger's side, Hitomi continues. "It was not your fault, okay? No one wanted it to turn that way.

"Maybe we're a little too passionate like that before that we're desperate to pass our films at the last minute like how a superhero saves the city at the binge of their failures but Haseul it's not your fault…

Haseul was sure of the next lines, it's the last words she wants to hear and everyone would probably say those to her but miraculously, Eunbi hasn't mentioned it yet. Maybe she's being careful? Haseul appreciates that. 

"Whatever happened to her, it was never your fault." 

The moment Hitomi dropped the bomb, Haseul was lost. As a whole. She expected herself to cry but her eyes are totally dry, she doesn't feel about crying either. 

She doesn't know if she's supposed to be thankful for her emotional side or she must worry about what's going to happen later. It's always like that. 

"Hey but as far as I know she's doing fine. Anyway, I never got a chance to mention this to you since we don't talk at all but Jiwoo asked me to search through the bus line's documents the day you left." 

Jiwoo? No way. 

The Kim Jiwoo who was the most indignant to her that day? Is looking for her? Worried for her? During the ride to Manila that one stormful day, Haseul asked for apologies to the gods and even said she would gladly accept whatever curse the witch master would throw at her. It's the most Jiwoo thing Haseul thinks Jiwoo would do when the girl reaches her ultimatum.

And now, instead of going straight to her mom's friend who is a sorcerer, and cursing her to bad luck, she went to Hitomi and asked for her whereabouts? 

Now, that's the most unlikely Jiwoo thing.

"Now you guys are catching up too much!" Eunbi taps her phone away from Haseul's ear, throwing it up in the air. Haseul's chest beat faster and harder than earlier, her hand that was holding Eunbi's phone was still in her ear, shaking. Thankfully, Eunbi was able to catch her phone before it touches the ground. 

"Hello, _Hii_? You still there?" 

Hitomi's voice is now inaudible for Haseul. Haseul waits for the two's conversation to end. When it ended, she was still unable to recover from what Eunbi did. 

"Why is your hand still in your ear…?" Eunbi points to Haseul's hand. 

"You're crazy!" 

"What?" Eunbi complains while shaking her slapped hand. 

"What were you thinking? That's…" Haseul looks at the _thankfully_ saved phone from the fall. "Expensive! You pulled it away from me as if it was a toy!"

Eunbi giggles and starts to walk back to the waiting shed, droplets start to paint the road again, "I've been practicing that since forever! No worries!" 

Haseul came up to Eunbi's pace and decided not to respond anymore. She's too exhausted about everything that happened today. If it wasn't because of the freaking ride she booked for what it seemed like 5 hours ago, her plans for the next two days won't be postponed. 

And yes, she's coming to Baguio. As if she can find another Jo Haseul in the busy streets of Manila. 

This silence could have happened minutes ago. Haseul muttered to herself. As soon as they both sit again, no one even opens a mouth or even tries to inhale the oddly pleasant smell of petrichor. 

"What are your plans?" 

Haseul faces Eunbi and compensates her with the same deadpan expression her colleague threw her earlier with that call with Hitomi. 

"Am I supposed to ask you that question since you're the one who decided to throw me back there?" 

Eunbi let out a chuckle. "For that almost 2 years? You got no plans?" 

"No." She admits, she just left to not go back anymore. Haseul couldn't believe someone as zealous as Eunbi will push her towards reconciling back to her friends. 

Yes. Friends. Haseul finally acknowledged the fact that she did make history with those eleven individuals. The reason why Eunbi was acting out like a fan of their crew during Senior High School. 

"Well… how about reviving that little friendship of you eleven by trying to relive the past? Start from when you were just starting to build up Idalso?" 

Haseul frowns. How is she supposed to do that when they're not in Senior High School anymore joining a film festival? For sure, everyone had taken different paths. None of them were interested to become passionate about the arts. Well, that's what Haseul knows. 

"Like what I said, relive." 

Eunbi takes out an already crumpled paper from her purse and gives it to Haseul. She reads it aloud for the latter, "Film for Freedom Film Festival," and points the mechanics on the paper on how to join the contest. 

"What is this?" 

"A way to revive and relive." Eunbi smiles. 

Haseul shows confusion. 

"I was planning to reunite Enozi to join that film fest but everyone's already busy. Hitomi got her bus line company. Hyewon with the resto. The younger ones with their internships…" and the list of names goes on. 

"I'm updated with your friends. They're not as busy as my team. They can insert that in their not so hectic schedule." 

"You think there's still a chance?" Haseul's tone of voice as she asked that question intrigues Eunbi, is it hope? Eunbi wishes so. 

Eunbi pats her. "Of course, you guys do. You have Yeojin. Who knows? Maybe the others aren't mad at you at all!" She continues to cheer up the hopeless aspiring filmmaker. 

"But how about…" 

"I may not know her that much. But I don't think she fills herself up with pride on a daily basis." 

Haseul fastens her eyes and exhales, trying to function and make up a decision. This will change her whole life, specifically her plans written in her newly bought journal. Is she going to sacrifice all those pages and fill up the blanks with the plans in the future film she'll make instead? 

After a few minutes of meditation, which is surprisingly successful this time, Haseul makes up her mind. 

"Okay, then. I will." 

She hopes her determination will stay with her until the end.


	2. The Absurd Reason (She Understands)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer : the setting is an alternative universe of baguio so infos about the place won't be accurate but a lot of tourist spots will be mentioned that really exists (and it's all a must-visit!).

Chapter 1: The Absurd Reason (She Understands)

The moment Haseul takes a step into the flight of stairs up to the bus, she tells herself there's no turning back. 

Aside from the fact that her wrist already got stamped, every bus attendant already recognized her, and one of the bus rules compromises that a bus must and should be full.

She doesn't want to meet the manager of Honda Bus Lines of the Manila branch if ever she escapes. She got no connections there. And as long as what Haseul promised herself, she will never come across a city employee again, they're all intimidating and strict as hell. 

One time when Haseul kind of took some time to choose her order at a coffee shop and the barista rolled her eyes and talked to her offensively. She definitely doesn't want that to happen again. 

And Haseul is a hundred percent sure Eunbi would haunt her down once Hitomi tells her no Jo Haseul had come on that Saturday. 

Her freedom was taken and she has nothing to do to take it back. 

Not a bad thing at all. 

Haseul pulls out a fresh from the laundry soft neck pillow and places it on her neck. It's a miracle the universe is on her side today as her seat number was beside a window. A perfect spot to lean on her head. 

She closes her eyes and prepares to get asleep, preferring to zap her way to the dreamland than letting her negative thoughts absorb her exhausted brain during the whole ride. 

* * *

_"If ever you see this Eunbi's friend, pls tell Eunbi I went home to our province because of an emergency. I'm sorry I won't be able to assist you in your stay here. But I already cleaned up everything and the room you will be using. I'm sorry again."_

As Haseul finished reading the note that was left by the house caregiver, instead of disappointment, there was a relief. Eunbi insisted on offering her house for her to use to stay in because she was aware Haseul sold her own. Aside from that, she also asked for their family caregiver to take care of the house one week before Haseul's arrival. It made Haseul wonder if her colleague planned all of this. From the rejection of the job interview for her to go back to this place again. 

If this plan comes to failure, she would go back to Manila and will never doubt beating up Eunbi, and if the other way round… 

Maybe that day when Eunbi came to her apartment to help her pack up would be their last meeting.

Otherwise, she should not conclude everything. Aside from she is destiny's greatest enemy, she doesn't know what her friends think of her. 

"Ma'am, I'm sorry but I will never accept this huge amount of money." 

From the caregiver's note posted on the moldy cream-colored door, she faces the tricycle driver who fetched her from the bus station, by Eunbi's request. 

"No worries, sir. Accept that as a tip if ever Eunbi already paid you." Haseul gave a heart-warming smile to the driver, who seemed to not give in.

Haseul holds both of the driver's hands that were grasping for the money she gave him, "I have a lot of baggage and this was a long ride. Take it." 

When the driver seemed to be still unpleased with Haseul's insistence, she said, "Well, how about help me with the baggage inside instead, and when I call you for a ride, I don't have to pay you anymore. For like three rides, how about that?" 

The driver gratefully nods and pulls up one of Haseul's boxes, and enters the house. Haseul could only watch him willingly doing his job. 

Haseul feels bad about lying. The man deserves the amount of money she gave him after all. 

No one changed in this old home of hers did not change it seems, they're still the same old polite and humble people she interacted with before. A smile never escapes on their lips when helping others. They deserve every good thing in this unfortunate cruel world. 

Someday, Haseul would make up to them all. More than this small gesture she did with the tricycle driver. 

* * *

"I already gave him a huge amount of money! Did I forget to tell you about it?" Eunbi asks, Haseul could tell she's in the middle of a shoot right now because of the yells from the other line. 

"Even if you told me. I will still pay for him." Haseul grunts, shaking her free hand as she places her loaded file organizer on the study table Eunbi used to own.

"You really won't change, aren't you?"

"It's in my nature and you can't do anything about it." 

Haseul brings down her phone on the bed just a few steps away from the study table and puts Eunbi on speaker. Only one piece of luggage left for Haseul to unpack and she can call it a day. If this luggage won't make her spend a lot of time, maybe a visit to one of her friends is a nice reward for herself.

Before that, she needs to reminisce and check who is the most likely who isn't that much disappointed with her. 

Which is… a tough choice and would take her hours to decide.

"Hey, Haseul before I forget," Haseul finds it funny that Eunbi said this word for the nth time already. "I think I got Heejin's business card pinned on my corkboard. Maybe you want to check it out." 

Heejin. 

Jeon Heejin. 

Surprisingly, this girl has been on Haseul’s mind since she stepped on Baguio especially when she came across the art gallery where she brought Heejin before. That was the only bonding the both of them have. Therefore, the attachment they had with each other wasn't that connected but they still do. 

"Haseul? Still on the line?" 

Haseul snaps away from her train of thoughts with the sudden yell from Eunbi, the background noises of the other line are starting to get loud again. 

"Yeah? Yeah? I got it." Haseul approaches the corkboard that was on the wall in front of the study table. She sits on the swivel chair and takes a closer look at Eunbi's corkboard. 

Several polaroids are scattered on every corner, filling up almost the whole board. There are also a few old sticky notes, already vulnerable to falling and Haseul tries not to touch either of them.

Her eyes then land on a card with a familiar bunny doodle. Change isn't constant in this city and it includes Heejin's way of drawing a bunny. Haseul suddenly wants to see her drawings again, curious how much of an expert now is Heejin as an artist. 

Before she finally pulls out Heejin's business card, her gaze didn't fail to not notice the group polaroid beside it. 

Eunbi's picture with Enozi, everyone holding the gold trophy. Haseul could feel their happiness seeing the smiles on their faces. 

That could have been them. 

It should be them that was holding that trophy. Eunbi herself even said that their film was better than them.

If it wasn’t for what happened that day, they would have made it. The little demons wouldn’t pay a visit inside her and decided to stay if it wasn’t for that day. She could have stayed here and never leave. Maybe Idalso Prod could have represented Baguio in a regional film festival by now or even compete in an international competition. Maybe Skylight Productions would have hired them themselves because of their skills, not the other way round, like what Haseul wanted to happen.

Now that she’s back after years. Some of them may be got out of college already and pursuing what they really want. What is she doing here? Inviting them to a film festival that was the root of the tragedy that had happened?

She wanted to relive those old moments. But it never bothered her. Why would they want to do it? She would pay them money and then what? What else she has to offer? Experience?

Why would they want to relive the memory that causes them all agony?

“Eun...” She swallows the lump that comes upon her throat, her voice breaks, “I don’t think I’m supposed to do this.” The echo of her voice reflects along with the corners of the room.

“Hey what? Haseul? Where are you?”

Haseul looks back on the phone on Eunbi’s bed, where she’s supposed to be sleeping for months, where her demons would probably stay too, by the pillow on the headboard. She makes her way to the bed, she planned to go back to the study table where she’ll continue the conversation but the soft, sinkable mattress pulled her down.

She places her phone by her side before she speaks, “I’m here.”

“Oh, good Lord I thought you’re about to jump off the balcony! “

“I’m not like that.” Haseul uses her back palm to wipe off her tears, avoiding letting it fall in the fresh covers.

“Maybe I should go back? I still have money in here—“

“And why would you?”

Shrugging off her breaking voice, Haseul tried to make herself sound firm and determined with her decision. Enough her colleague would be convinced, despite lacking in convincing skills.

“They loathe me for life.”

Based on the expressions of her friends’ faces that day, hating her would be such a weak response for what she did. They could have set her up in a dark room and torture her in any way they want to, their way to express their pain. It’s not unlikely to happen. Even though Haseul thinks she deserves that, she will never be ready for physical pain.

“I manipulated them all, Eun. Isn’t that enough reason for me to give up?” Her actions seem not to show desperation as her eyes were only following the cracks of the room’s ceiling.

“You’ve changed, right?”

Eunbi perfectly defines her other side of conscience, telling her there’s still hope. Telling her if she starts to proceed with her plan, she will see what her friends really think about her.

And it’s powerful enough to keep Haseul from doubting her declaration of giving up.

“Yeah... I do.”

“There you go!” Eunbi gushes. “They will accept you. Look at the chemistry of the twelve of you. You all click together. Destiny decided to gather the twelve of you!”

Yes, right. Say that to destiny’s greatest enemy.

“What about some motivation?”

Maybe Haseul can’t see Eunbi but she can picture the woman in front of her smirking. It was this kind of moment when the latter brings out her undefeatable asset and it’s a landslide win.

Like how she brought out her best manuscript when the Skylight Director asks her for one.

“The film festival I gave you? Film for Freedom? That’s one of Director Jennie’s favorite film festivals.”

Haseul’s eyes widen at the mention of the Director’s name that slipped off her mind.

“Skylight?”

“Yes! The Skylight Director! I can’t believe you forgot her name...” Eunbi’s head is shaking, Haseul was sure of that. “She is planning on going there and hires a crew for her Baguio documentary film by next year.

“And I’m coming! I’m expecting to work with the twelve of you so please don’t give up on this, Seul.”

Hot liquid stains the bed covers, this time, Haseul did not bother about stopping those from escaping anymore.

She should stop this now. This long time of hiding and pretending that part of her past didn’t exist, that it was just a nightmare and she woke up.

It’s another chance of getting a job on Skylight, which is her goal from the beginning of when she finally found out what she wanted to be. Thinking about it, when this becomes a success, she will benefit big time. A stable job at her dream company. Working with Eunbi, a part of her wants that to happen. Last but not the least, a reconciliation.

A perfect opportunity. After all, if she decides to move forward without resolving her issues with her friends, it will continue to haunt her forever. Haseul doesn’t want that to happen.

“Let’s have a deal,” Eunbi says, Haseul did not speak and only nods to her words. “This will serve as our last conversation.

“Call me again when you’ve gathered your team already. No advice. No giving up. I know you can do that, Seul. You have done it already the first time around when they are not interested in your field at all. Now that they tasted what the film industry is like, I’m sure you’ll get them back together.

Except the challenge this time is whatever issues you guys have.”

Haseul wants to open up about this to Eunbi. Now that the latter opened up her wounds again, there’s no way she’ll be healing this by herself. That was when she hadn't realized she needed to do this all alone.

She started this. She is the reason why Idalso happened. She resolves this all by herself.

“Do you get me, Seul? You promise?”

Haseul finds herself nodding along with Eunbi’s words, despite staring blankly at the ceiling, she absorbs these words and promises into her memory, along with her unwanted visitors staying in there.

* * *

“We’re here ma’am.”

The man’s raucous voice has woken up Haseul’s senses, it didn’t even sink into her she fell asleep in a taxi. A thing she hasn’t done before. Thankfully, she’s in a low-crime city. Haseul got down from the taxi after a few conversations with the driver with her rejecting the excess payment she gave again. The man was tougher this time but for the sake of ending the conversation, Haseul accepts half of her excess payment and they made it a deal.

The rumbling of the taxi slowly fades from Haseul’s ears, giving her the tranquil silence she needs as she is about to brainstorm her words to say to her first mission.

Jeon Heejin.

Haseul can’t help to admit but feel jealousy the moment she takes a closer look at the wide infrastructure in front of her, which happens to be Heejin’s workroom.

If Haseul didn’t know what kind of artist is Heejin but only knows her as an amazing one, she would think Heejin herself handled the exteriors of the studio.

But ironically coming from an artist, herself, Heejin hates measurements. 

Haseul worries about the roof being one-sided, it almost touches the ground that a robber might use that part of the studio as an opportunity to get in. But when she saw there’s no chimney at the peak where a potential robber might come in, Haseul feels relieved.

The windows almost cover everything in the front, only one side being left not tinted. A long wooden sofa sits in front of an open television. Aside from that, everything inside is a mystery.

That urges Haseul to walk her way inside of Heejin’s studio.

So, she starts.

She follows the rock patterns of the pathway, serving as her way of distracting from the loud thump she feels from her chest. Clueless about what to expect the moment the door opens.

“Haseul?”

A set of feet appears on Haseul’s visions, white as the hardware paint, obviously branded. Haseul is familiar with this one as she saw this exact style from a mall before.

“Is that really you?”

Well. She shouldn’t have expected this girl would cry out loud and make a dramatic scene. Not when they haven’t interacted much aside from that moment at the art gallery before.

Haseul finally raises her head, and Heejin lets out a light gasp.

“Two years…” The girl’s arms were loaded with scratch papers, Haseul concludes Heejin is on her way to the recycle bin just at the start of the pathway she walked on earlier.

“Can we talk?”

Heejin blinks her eyes slowly. One and two. Particularly asking herself if she hasn’t fallen asleep again while trying to finish an art.

“Come in. I will just…” Heejin raises her bunch of papers and Haseul immediately understands. The latter continues to walk inside of the studio, Heejin going the other way.

The monochromic color spills around the studio, oddly pleasing for Haseul when she hates these kinds of colors. She can’t even take a sight of what’s in the corner of the room as it was too far from where she was standing. Which is still in the rag in front of the door, her guilt stopping her from taking a step.

“Why are you just standing there? You should’ve taken a seat.” Haseul turns her head to the owner of the voice. Heejin’s remarkable beret is hanging around her head, severely torn out due to its long existence yet it’s still bearable to wear (at least, for Heejin) Her thin round glasses laying down by her nose bridge.

“You look like an artist now…” was all Haseul could say after that quite long examination.

Heejin giggles while humbly shrugging Haseul’s compliment, “It was a pleasure but no, I’m a mess!”

“I don’t think so.” She wouldn’t be surprised if Heejin would think her voice changed and then points out her sudden softness. It was still the same. But why would Haseul have the audacity to speak friendly after appearing in front of Heejin’s door after a long time?

“Wait until you see my table.”

Heejin leads the way inside of her studio. Haseul finally takes a step out of the rug but still conscious of every step she makes.

“Why are you here, by the way? Commission for a movie poster? Do you know I’m studying Photoshop for about a year now! I’m planning to open commissions for photo editing when I finally proved myself maybe you’re the perfect opportunity—”

“Heejin.”

It scares her.

The enthusiasm from Heejin terrifies her when Heejin isn’t like this at all. They may not be that close but Heejin isn’t known as the excited kid from the crew. She’s usually in the corner, improving her drawing skills when her 5-minute art piece is already an international art competition material.

“Yeah? Not for a commission then?”

No hint of surprise, eagerness, agony at all. Haseul couldn’t read Heejin and it’s making her panic. Heejin acting like she was only gone for a day scares her that maybe when she opens up about that thing Heejin explodes.

And the fact that Haseul is clueless about the younger’s emotional capabilities makes her chest to pump off harder than ever.

“I’m back.”

Heejin frowns. “And I’m happy for you! Finally!”

Something is wrong.

If Haseul knows she’s in a movie she would think this is a Heejin doppelganger and she would no doubt run away.

But no.

They’re not inside of a screen.

“And why are you not mad at me? Not asking me? Why are you acting like this?”

Haseul takes a step back.

“Your reaction scares me,” Haseul admits.

Heejin stays still. After a sigh that Haseul will never know what emotion Heejin was pulling off at that moment, the faded blue beret faces Haseul.

Is this the moment when Haseul finds out she is now a protagonist of a coming-of-age mystery film? A conflict starting the moment Heejin raises her head and she finds out Heejin is a monster?

“Is it really required for me to get mad when you haven’t done anything wrong at all?”

Heejin raises her head and no, she didn’t become a monster.

But her stepping frontward towards Haseul makes her feel Heejin is one.

“No one’s absent during that day, Heejin. You know what happened. You know what I did. You know what happened to—”

“You’re being too hard to yourself, no?” Heejin chuckles, a droplet comes out of her eyelids. It was a first for Haseul’s sight to see.

“I finally know why you only came back today.”

The distance between them suffocates Haseul. She feels embarrassed by her chest’s abnormal beating that Heejin already heard for sure.

“And I’m proud you did.”

The move Heejin did was supposed to suffocate Haseul more, but she didn’t. She instead felt relief. It was like the younger absorbs all the doubts and negative thoughts she had before going back to this place.

Haseul raises her arms to the younger’s back to reciprocate the hug Heejin gave. It was again, a first. And there’s no way Haseul is going to waste this moment with the sentimental Heejin who first accepts her, even when she hasn’t heard her side yet.

* * *

“Wait, is that our—” Haseul, with mouth slightly opened, points out a familiar sketch posted on Heejin’s wall.

“I managed to find the sketch of our movie poster, yes!” Heejin says proudly with a wide grin sketching up her lips. “Look!” Heejin’s index finger touches the paper, “Your signature.”

Haseul moves closer to look at the paper and manages to see the familiar writing, “It’s such a clapped signature! I already changed it!” She frowns while silently enjoying staring at her old little writing.

“Well, at least, I got the privilege.” Heejin placed her hands on both sides of her hips, posing like a superhero. “I got the first draft of Director Haseul’s signature, selling it for 1 million!”

Haseul pauses at the mention of her name with her desired title before it, she tries to shrug off the internal twinge she felt at that moment. “That’s not a first. I change my signatures every year during elementary.”

“Oh, is that so?” Heejin stops from her superhero pose and scratches her neck, “Business is all about lying, anyway. That’s your first!”

“Jeon Heejin!”

Haseul chases Heejin around the studio when the latter starts running away, initiating a tag game.

The fun took a while. Haseul’s foot almost stepped in every part of the floor’s first floor, given the first floor is uncommonly wide for an art studio. There was nothing to see much in this part of the studio aside from the “lobby” where the sofa and television were and Heejin’s “art corner” where her main workroom with the several art supplies and a computer are residing on.

The game ends when Heejin went to the second floor and suddenly announces they’re now playing “Heaven and Earth”. Haseul gives up and Heejin proceeds to go to the second floor.

While Haseul tries to entertain herself by watching the television (which mostly are music videos of the songs from Heejin’s playlist), Heejin’s footsteps made an echo through the room and subside when she reaches the final step.

“I’m tired and I know you are too.” Heejin offers a glass of water while her other hand was holding her own, Haseul gladly accepts and drinks. “Yeah, you’re surely tired,” Heejin comments when Haseul gives back the now, empty glass.

“I only went here for a conversation and I really did not expect a marathon at all.” Haseul says, crossing her arms and leans by the corner of the sofa, “Especially from you, Heejin. You changed a lot.”

“All of us did, Seul.”

The statement left Haseul in awe, especially with the serious tone from the younger’s voice.

The glass clinks against the crystal-clear table before Heejin sits down at the opposite corner of the couch, making them at least a person laying down away from each other.

“Do I deserve an explanation or…?” Heejin asks, trying not to hit the bull’s eye of Haseul’s emotions as she speaks gently.

“Yeah, yeah. You do.” Haseul stands up to get another glass of water from the dispenser behind her, when she gets back, she speaks again, “That’s why I’m here after all.” Then she drinks up.

The silence decides to disturb their conversation after that. Right after a solid while, Heejin sees Haseul fiddling on her fingers harshly. That’s when she chimes in. “You don’t have to think about it seriously, Haseul. Just tell me what really happened.”

From chopping off her nails that have been her grim habit when being set up on a hot seat, Haseul raises her head and faces Heejin who was smiling at her, enough to make her feel solace. That everything she will say will be alright for the younger because she will understand.

“I was scared that day, Heejin.” Haseul wasn’t able to gather the best and acceptable explanation other than this emotion she felt that day. But it was the only word that best explains her feelings. She was ready to be thrown out of the studio the moment she said that word as it would be a petty reason to escape and start a new life in the capital.

But Heejin did not say a word.

Haseul attempts to make her reasoning valid. “I know what I said that day was so stupid and harsh of me but it was late when I realized that.” There’s no way Heejin will accept this story. Why is she still listening?

“I admit as much as everyone, I also got mad that day.”

“But I tried to put myself on your shoes. Trying to connect everything why you did this and that. When I was upstairs earlier when you were desperate for me to push you away. I finally understood it.”

Heejin reaches for Haseul’s shaking hand resting on top of the couch, “I’m happy you decided to go back and face everything you left in here. You know… it’s hard to become a famous personality when everyone is mad at you.” Heejin tries to joke in the middle of the tension but Haseul’s tears just continue to escape from the latter’s eyelids while laughing at her joke.

“So, everyone’s really mad…” Haseul asks while using her back palm to wipe off her tears again, Heejin offers her the box of tissue from the table.

“Not everyone!” Heejin exclaims.

“Is that someone includes her?” Just by that mention and worried tone, Heejin figures out who Haseul was talking about. She takes a deep breath trying to find the right words.

“That girl doesn’t know how to get mad!” The younger slaps Haseul’s arm lightly, trying to losing up the drama tension running around the atmosphere.

That definitely did not lessen up Haseul’s worries about meeting that girl.

“Hey,” Heejin places her hand on top of Haseul’s. “They will understand. I’ve bonded with them for the years when you’re gone. Maybe they try to avoid talking about you but I’m sure they do it because they’re hiding the fact that they miss you.

“Knowing Jinsoul and Jungeun. Those girls always act like they’re tough.”

Haseul thanks Heejin for that mild clue. She now knows who she will visit the last. She needs to prepare a 1-hour speech explanation with everything connected. Jinsoul will definitely roast her, acting like they’re in the middle of a thesis defense but with personal feelings involved.

“I may sound rude but I really need to let this out… you’re planning something to do with us after isn’t it?”

Haseul’s eyes widen, thankfully she was only about to take another sip. “Don’t get it wrong! I really need you all! I won’t mess up with my feelings this time!”

“Are we going to benefit something with that or…”

“I’m paying you guys!” Haseul chirps that made Heejin pause, trying to contemplate what she just heard.

“Are we filming again? I’m rejecting if we’re not.”

A smile comes across Haseul’s lips.

Heejin changes her position from sitting formally to kneeling, “So, we are?”

Haseul closes her eyes before nodding.

“I’m in! Same role! Pay me big time I’m a pro now!” Heejin jokes.

“I definitely will.”

Heejin mouths out a yes and opens up her phone to reject every small commission she’s receiving for the entire month, leaving out the big deals before facing Haseul again.

“You’re impulsive.” Haseul chuckles and shakes her head. What if this won’t push through?”

“This will! I guarantee you that!”

Heejin shoves her thumbs up on Haseul’s face and did her weird wink, Haseul must say the girl improves comparing to the Heejin years ago that winces that it can pass as a meme when attempting to do the wink.

“Hey but seriously speaking…” The excitement in Heejin’s voice mildly abates. “Don’t use the money excuse as a payback. Not everyone will be excited as I am. Especially I’m not really sure what everyone feels about you by now.”

Haseul nods and mentally takes note of Heejin’s words.

“So… you’re helping me?” Haseul asks.

Heejin slowly brings her hand back to her neck and scratches it again, she starts to sit again formally. Seeing that move without a context will for sure make Haseul nervous the hell out.

“I got a big thing happening this month and I’m close to ending it so I still need to stay away from humans for a while,” Heejin explains.

“Wait, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt your—”

Heejin waves her hands. “Except for you! I’m only cleaning off my studio today so I guess this is a break from my isolation moment and you came at the right time.”

Haseul was ready to run away at that moment. Everyone knows how much Heejin hates people interrupting her while working on artwork, everyone and that includes her parents. The reason why she asks for the old art studio their parents own as a debut gift.

“Good to know.” Haseul voices out her ease.

“Well…” Heejin lightens up her phone, “I’m actually closing at 4 but we’re already 15 minutes late.”

Haseul was about to apologize again but Heejin places her index on the older’s lips, “And again, you’re an exception.”

“But now we need to close this studio before a commission comes up.”

Heejin stands up from her seat and picks up the two glasses, Haseul waits for her on the couch.

After finally finding a way to kill the waiting time, Heejin yells from the second floor, “You can now go, Seul! I can handle this!”

Haseul did not respond, but that doesn’t mean she will follow Heejin’s words.

When Haseul takes a step out of the studio, a soft and tickly fur touches Haseul’s shoes that made her almost jump back inside. But when a certain meow tears down the nature’s silence, Haseul looks down, only to see a cat trying to lick off its wounded leg.

Haseul was left in doubt if she will carry the cat but she manages to get down to the cat’s level to see more of it. Aside from the wounded leg, the cat’s left ear was also injured but it wasn’t as fresh as the cat’s leg. Haseul looks up at the studio roof and wonders if that’s where the cat came from.

“Where did that cat came from?” The voice was followed by a thud and key creaks.

“I just saw it when I came out.” Haseul answers while her focus was still on the poor animal.

“I thought you hated cats?”

Heejin sits down at the same level as Haseul’s to also check on the cat. Haseul shakes her head, “I also did change, Heej.” She mimics Heejin’s resonating voice from earlier.

“I know who you will visit next.”

“She’s a vet now. Maybe a visit with the cat would be a good excuse for you.” Heejin picks up a business card from her wallet and gives it to Haseul.

“As far as I know…” Heejin pauses and tries to choose her words, “She’s kind of disappointed too, more than I am but not on a higher level. Good luck, Haseul.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading chapter 1! (yes we started at zero and no, it's not a prologue. it's long asf.) hope you're enjoying this fic so far!
> 
> any guesses on who haseul is gonna visit next? 
> 
> shameless promoting my twt : @gowonursoul


	3. The Stray Cat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> school decided to dump works to us during the past days so i always end up falling asleep instead of writing, but here it is! the second chapter! hope yall are still reading : <
> 
> TW: Blood and Cuts (not too graphic but can still trigger i guess so..)
> 
> to make up for the two weeks of no update, this one is 6k!

Chapter 2: The Stray Cat

_Im Yeojin posted a photo with Wong Vivi and 9 others_

_October 8, 2019_

_U better treat my pets for free ; ) Wong Vivi_ _congrats on your new vet clinic!_

_87 likes 12 comments_

_Wong Vivi: as long as theyre not weird ones ok_

_Kim Hyunjin: im treating everyone bread if yeojin’s cockroach is vivi’s first patient_

_Jeon Heejin: Kim Hyunjin u alr ate all those bread before you treat us_

_Kim Hyunjin: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA_

_Im Yeojin: DON’T TALK HERE_

_Jung Jinsoul: but u already did Im Yeojin lol, congrats vi!_

_Kim Jungeun: congrats vivi!_

_Park Chaewon: congrats @Wong Vivi_

_Son Hyejoo: yoooo niceeee congrats vivi!! but Kim Hyunjin isn’t it supposed to be yerim’s cockroach?_

_Ha Sooyoung: yo, that’s where I skate sometimes! Let me visit u sometime_

_Wong Vivi: sure just bring an animal w u Ha Sooyoung_

_Choi Yerim: WHAT MY COCKROACH_

Haseul almost loses her 20/20 vision during the taxi ride, trying to familiarize the vet clinic posted on Yeojin’s social media account. Her fingers are itchy to send a message to Heejin’s new number but her timidity towards the younger is also preventing her from doing so. 

On her other hand is Vivi’s calling card that turns out to be an old one now, the reason why she’s been on this taxi ride for almost an hour. Heejin said it will only cost her a short time. 

Definitely a short time if it wasn’t for the old calling card. She stares at Vivi’s face on the card before crumpling it. 

She attempts to study the location of the photo for the millionth time, but her eyes always fall on Yeojin and Vivi standing in front of the clinic. Vivi got her bangs while Yeojin miraculously trimmed her hair up to her shoulders. Yeojin must have finally overcome her fear of getting haircuts.

When Haseul finally gave up, she asked for the driver’s help by giving him the photo, with hopes on the driver to recognize it.

It happens to be that they're only about a crossroad away before they reach their destination.

The traffic light beams a red color, having the taxi to pull up a stop.

Haseul spends the last 45 seconds of the ride checking out Yeojin’s social media account. Like what she always does when she misses the girl.

* * *

Now, here she stands.

The photo she’s been staring at during the 1-hour ride finally came to life.

Haseul roams her eyes from the farther left side to the right of the one-floor pale-colored clinic. As much as she wants to peek inside first through the window to check out Vivi’s mood but the windows are made frosted, just like Heejin’s earlier, but this one’s blurrier. She’s literally in front of the establishment but all she sees is a plain white square.

The fiberglass door in front of Haseul opens, someone groans from the inside. Haseul runs to the door to help.

A tall brunette woman in a full white attire was holding a fragile box, Haseul couldn’t recognize her face as the box covered her face.

“Oh wow, thanks to you! Such a savior!” The brunette says, still friendly despite struggling to even take a step down the two stepped stairs.

Haseul somehow recognizes that cheerful voice, always high pitched as if she never runs out of energy.

“Ahn Yujin?” Haseul calls.

The called name turns her head to Haseul and beams a smile as she recognizes who just called her. “Jo Haseul? Idalso Director?” Yujin, more excited than earlier, asks. She puts down her box on the bench behind her.

After dusting off her hands, Yujin raises a hand to Haseul, initiating a handshake, “It’s nice to finally meet you like this!” 

“Yeah.. yeah… finally…” Haseul mutters and accepts Yujin’s hand.

Before the awkward interaction dies, Haseul opens up a question. “Are you working here?

“Yup!” Even with the way Yujin nods, she’s all smiles. Haseul admires that positivity from the youngster. “We all work our part times everywhere else but I chose here in Dr. Wong’s clinic because I want to take care of dogs!” Yujin adds.

“Everyone?”

“All of us from Enozi!” Yujin laughs, Haseul couldn’t figure out what’s funny with that and only considers Yujin is a happy kid after all, even in the times that she’s supposed to be not.

“You know, we all become close friends after that film from Senior High. How about you with Idalso? I don’t see you usually when we see Yeojin and the others when they go on a brunch.”

A certain meow saves Haseul again from that topic.

She feels guilty for almost forgetting about the cat she’s been holding on to.

Yujin chuckles and takes a look at Haseul's paper bag.

“You must be here for Dr. Wong.” Yujin’s tone wasn’t that cheerful anymore and seemed to be empathizing with Haseul’s sudden silence on her question. “She’s inside busy with the refills… and me!” Yujin’s mood went back to glee as she carried the box she placed down on the bench earlier. “Dr. Wong asks me to deliver these anti-rabies vaccines to the local health centers.” 

“Where exactly? Isn’t that hassle for you?” Haseul questions.

Yujin shakes her head. “ _La Trinidad._ Yeah. Kind of. But Dr. Wong gave me some pocket money. After this, I’m gonna go dinner on _Session Road_ later!” Then lifts her knee to catch the box when it was about to fall.

“You sure about _Session Road_ , huh?”

“Yup! Today’s my cheat day, though!”

Haseul shakes her head because of Yujin’s enthusiasm. She could only regard her some good luck for her pocket money.

“I need to go! Dr. Wong might—”

“Yujin, why am I still hearing your voice? Entertaining a client—”

A bottle falls on the floor, right after the owner of the sweet honey voice stops from talking.

Just a few whiles after Yujin looks back at the inside of the clinic, Haseul mimics her move. Upon confirming who it was, Haseul tries not to focus on Vivi’s eyes but she still looks at her, particularly, on her forehead.

“Haseul…” Vivi’s soft voice even got softer, a total contrast when she called for Yujin earlier.

Haseul did not expect she would miss that honeyed voice.

A smile sketches on her lips. “Vivi!” Haseul steps inside of the clinic but when she sees Vivi taking a step backward as she steps in, her smile disappears. 

“Let me…” Vivi looks at the ground, on the bits of glass shattered, and faces Haseul again. “Clean this for a while.”

Haseul takes a seat in the lounge seat at the side, nodding to Vivi. She gently puts the paper bag beside her and checks on the cat almost every minute, only to find it in the same sleeping position. After about a minute, Yujin called her from the door and was about to leave when a yell made Yujin stop from taking a step again to finally leave the clinic. 

Yujin’s eyes widened as she looked in Vivi’s direction, it made her put down her box again, making the bottles inside clank, and rushed to the doctor. 

“Doctor, you’re bleeding!” 

Haseul’s senses perk up upon hearing Yujin’s yell. She shuffles her way towards the employees only area of the clinic. The bits of broken glass were lying in front of them. Vivi was sitting on the floor with both legs wide, mouth agape, and staring blankly at the broken glass pieces. Haseul kneels beside Yujin, who was busy damping Vivi’s finger. 

“Yujin, let me do it. Get a broom and clean the mess.” Haseul commands, Yujin immediately follows, giving the towel to the older. 

This is where Haseul gets a chance to stare at Vivi. It didn’t last as long as she started cleaning Vivi’s finger. 

“Can we lean on the wall? Yujin will clean that once she gets the broom.” Haseul blocks Vivi’s vision from the mess she has been staring at since the former saw her. 

Haseul did not wait for her response and pulled her along with her to the wall. It only took a minimal effort to do but Vivi was completely frozen on her seat, except that her injured hand was shivering. 

“Hey, Vivi,” Haseul calls, touching Vivi’s cheek, gently forcing her to face her. The moment Haseul sees Vivi’s glassy eyes and trembling lips, she almost gets frozen on her own too. 

She let go of Vivi’s hand to hold Vivi’s face with both of her hands, attempting to make the latter focus on her. 

“Vivi… hey… do you hear me?” 

Vivi only responded with shaky breaths and more teardrops escaping from her eyes. 

“Hey… c’mon!” Haseul pulls Vivi into her shoulder and says hushes, whispers to her ear. “You’re gonna be okay... “

“I’m here. I’m here. I’m gonna treat your wound. Okay?” 

Aware that those words won’t help the older to calm down, Haseul still tried to mutter more words, mostly telling Vivi that it would be alright. 

Vivi lets out a sob, “Please… take it away from me…” 

Haseul pulls Vivi’s head to make her bury it into her shoulder, she massages Vivi’s back in circles as she consoles her more.

“I will. I will. Close your eyes when I let go of the hug.” 

Vivi did not answer, and Haseul considers it a yes. When Haseul feels the perfect timing, she pulls out the hug slowly and smiles when she sees Vivi did close her eyes. 

Haseul cannot help but admire Vivi’s face even in its vulnerability. She has seen it before, even worse than that. She always wonders if the older was a literal angel sent, everything about her is ethereal from her attitude, her smile, and even the way she treats everyone. Haseul was glad to know the others also admired Vivi the same way. She feels delusional thinking about that for years of hiding such feelings from the older. 

While cleaning Vivi’s blood, Haseul thinks of what topic she would open up to distract the veterinarian from panicking, she has a thousand choices but clueless about which one to open up. The one that won’t create an awkward ambiance nor make Vivi panic more.

Probably not about her purpose of coming here or their past.

“Is it okay now?” Her voice was still shaking as she spoke, but Vivi’s breathing is slowly getting back to normal every second.

“It’s starting to. When this becomes okay, let’s cover this with a scarf for the meanwhile. Buy a band-aid once you get home.” 

Vivi nods, her eyes still fastening. 

Haseul chuckles at how Vivi is unconsciously pouting. It makes Haseul want to pinch Vivi’s cheeks.

If it wasn’t for the bloody finger situation and of course, for the unresolved issue.

* * *

After a few awkward moments at the sink when Vivi recovered from her panic attack, they (mostly Haseul) wrapped Vivi’s finger with the band-aid Yujin gave them. Yujin felt honored when she was complimented as a girl scout by Haseul, dramatically proclaiming it was the most touching compliment she has ever received in her entire life. That somehow made Vivi calm down. After Yujin left, Vivi did tell Haseul stories of how Yujin made her forget her problems even if she was always scolding the youngster for various reasons. 

“I wonder if Yujin was able to deliver those in the health centers. Those health centers are planning to give away free anti-rabies shots tomorrow, I can’t afford for that kid to lose it,” Vivi says, removing her ear tubes as she finishes checking the cat’s heartbeat. The cat was still surprisingly asleep. Even though Haseul accidentally woke him up earlier when she removed him out from the paper bag. 

“Other than his wounds. I must say everything’s alright with him. If this is not yours, Heejin then?” 

Haseul tries to remember Heejin’s favorites. But she doesn’t recall a thing about Heejin being interested in animals. Right. The artist doesn’t want to get disturbed by people, having animals around her will get her distracted more. Or worse, the pet will destroy her artworks. 

Negative. Not Heejin’s. 

“Just a stray cat outside Heejin’s house. She asked me to bring it to you,” Haseul answers. Vivi nods and brings her stethoscope wrapped around her neck. 

“I’m surprised she still remembers me.” Vivi chuckles. She pats the cat’s head gently. 

“Of course, she will do!” With furrowed brows, Haseul stands up and faces Vivi intently, “Why wouldn’t she?” 

“It’s been months,” Vivi replies, her attention still on the cat.

“So?” Confusion becomes more visible on Haseul’s face. “There’s no way she will forget you for that short time.” 

“I just thought about it. We’ve been busy and stuff. I can’t believe my name will visit her mind. You know? We’re not that close.” Vivi shrugs her shoulders and opens a drawer below her. From there, she brings a box of unfamiliar equipment for Haseul up to the table. 

Vivi carefully carries the cat and places him into the damp cloth she prepared earlier. With the cat still asleep, Vivi takes a syringe out of the box.

Haseul leans her chin on the silver table, watching Vivi with everything she does. She’s basically in the restricted part of the clinic, only special people get into her place right now, specifically only Vivi and Yujin. Should she consider herself special now, then? 

Confused by the veterinarian’s doings, Haseul asks, “You’re injecting that to the wound?”

“Only to this new one, though. This other seems to be in a healing process now even without a treatment. But compared to this fresh wound, this seems severe so we’re going to give treatments. Either way, every wound should be treated.” Vivi explains and starts injecting the syringe. To Haseul’s surprise, the cat did not even flinch in his sleep.  
  
“Wow… he’s a brave boy.” Haseul chuckles.

“Well, unlike humans, animals don’t react a lot during this process. Unless they’re already aggressive beforehand. Thankfully, I haven’t encountered such cases yet.” 

“How long has it been? Since you became a vet?” 

Right. This is how Haseul starts. Catching up with their personal lives during her disappearing times and when everything seems right, straight to the purpose.

Asking Vivi about this should be easy. After all, among the eleven, Vivi doesn’t have some intimidating aura like everyone else. 

This should be easy.

“I haven’t got my license yet. I still have 3 years in Vet School.” 

“But how come…” 

When Haseul pauses in her speech midway, Vivi while cleaning the dirt in the cat’s ears raises her head, and laughs when she sees Haseul’s totally confused face, mouth slightly opened and eyes clouding, going distant.

“Vet school is like Med school, we save lives. So, it’s normal that I’m still studying.” Vivi looked at Haseul when she heard nothing from her, and there, Haseul was listening to her and her eyes were focusing on her. Vivi would prefer not to know the younger’s thoughts at that moment. “But I already got experience. So, this vet clinic happened. This is actually from my uncle, but he has a new clinic so he gave this to me.” Vivi roams her eyes around the clinic, remembering the happiness she felt when her uncle promises her this clinic once the veterinarian finishes her pre-course. She smiled upon that memory and continued to clean the cat’s wounds.

Haseul had deep, serious thinking about Vivi’s words. She loves her job so much. And this… won’t be easy. There’s no way Vivi will betray her love and passion for saving animals’ lives over anyone, especially over being a make-up artist on her film production. 

But, Haseul needs to try. She has to. She shouldn’t miss. Everyone should be included in the team. 

“How about you?” 

Haseul blinks. Slowly enough that it gets noticeable. She points at herself. “Me? What about me?” 

“Silly. Your job. How was it? Skylight, right?” Vivi questions, not looking at Haseul but instead on the cat, she’s busy treating on. 

“I’m not a director… yet.” 

_Because I still have a mission to gather you all._

“Oh.” 

Haseul revives the dying atmosphere, “I still have a requirement to do. So, if you won’t bother can you—” 

“And there, we’re done!” Vivi grins and raises her hands to the air. Haseul still hasn’t recovered from Vivi’s sudden rise of voice but she still smiles along with her despite being puzzled by what it is about.

“He’s clean now…” The veterinarian starts removing her gloves, slowly on her injured hand. “The wound should be gone by 2 weeks.” 

Haseul shuffles to the opposite side of the table and gets down on the table’s level to look at the cat’s condition. 

And he did look better now. The cat has a yellowish mark crossing on his face that Haseul got unnoticed because of his dirtiness earlier. 

“Two years really changed you a lot.” Vivi comments, observing how Haseul looks at the cat’s features, corny it may sound for Vivi, but Haseul had this what she calls motherly love for the cat. Same with what Vivi encounters with other patients with their owners.

“How?” Haseul continues to admire the cat.

“You hate cats.”

Haseul looks at Vivi, frowning. “I do?”

“You kick them out during the shoot before.” 

“Ah.” Haseul giggles, several memories of that scenario enters her mind. “I hate photobombers. You’ve seen that.” 

“And I’ve seen how you shoo them out even when not filming.” 

“They distract me.”

“Well, nah.” Vivi shrugs her shoulders, unconvinced with Haseul’s reasonings. “You changed.” 

“And you too.” Haseul retreats.

“You left, though. Everyone will.”

Haseul only stayed at her position, her heartbeat starting to raise as she continues to stare longer at the sleeping animal. She uses her nails to tap the table, louder to make a sound. 

“I know why you’re here,” This is when Haseul finally looks up to Vivi, meeting her gaze, her deadpanned gaze. Haseul knows this is the moment when Vivi turns off her angel mode, this is that kind of stare. She has seen it before, and she wants it to be the last time but here it goes again.

Haseul really fucked up. 

“Can we talk about this outside?” Vivi asks and takes a quick check out on the animal. “Animals can feel their surroundings. Any negative vibes would give them stress.” Vivi starts walking to the lobby, just a few steps away since they are on the border between the waiting room and the restricted area. 

With her mind clouded, practicing the words she would say to the veterinarian, Haseul follows. 

;

* * *

“How are you feeling?” Haseul starts to ask. The chamomile tea served on the table is already half of its cup but no one has started a conversation yet. Vivi was probably scrolling on her news feed, as her fingers only pressed on one key, the down arrow, Haseul concludes. And Haseul, shifting her looks between Vivi’s poorly covered finger and her tea. 

“Ah…” The click sounds that’s been saving their surroundings from going silent stops. Vivi raises her finger, it starts to shake as she stares at it. “I’m going to be fine. I guess. As long as I don’t remove these.” 

“But you need to,” Haseul says, more like a command.

“Uh…” Vivi’s eyes shake as she switches her gaze between her finger and Haseul. She brings down her finger after, “I’ll try.” and she gives off a smile after, Haseul pretends to be convinced even when she saw the veterinarian’s lips shaking. 

“When did you come back?” Vivi asks and closes her laptop.

“Afternoon.”

“And you came here from Heejin’s?” 

Haseul nods.

“You must be tired.” 

Haseul shakes her head and smiles at Vivi, “I slept the whole ride. No worries.” 

“Where are you staying at? The last time we went to your house it’s been sold.” 

The new information made Haseul break their continuous conversation. It was about to go well, the awkwardness started to disappear but here it goes again. It only takes one hint, one hint of what her crew did in the past. What more if she finds out everything? Will she be ready to be with them again?

“I…” Haseul’s voice shakes as she stutters, “Yeah. I sold it. I was staying at Eunbi’s house.” 

“From the other team from College?” 

A single nod was what Haseul could do, she can still feel her voice shaking.

“You became close. You were workmates, right?”

“What?” 

“Do you all think I’m already a director?” Haseul asks, trying to confirm her theory.

There’s no way this hasn't been talked about. Heejin had already mentioned it earlier. The artist thought she already had a name in the industry. Haseul had an assumption: All of them, the eleven of them, concludes that she’s already successful now and that’s why she did not come back.

With that assumption on mind, Haseul thought she really needed to talk to everyone to clear out whatever they're thinking about her. 

Vivi nods slowly, “Yes? And that’s why you’re coming back? You have a shoot here?” She shrugs. “I really don’t know. That was really random.” and she avoids Haseul’s eyes.

Looking at it differently, Vivi could be right. She proclaims herself as a filmmaker even before. She makes films. Therefore, she’s a filmmaker. It’s also true, she has a shooting to do here. 

And that includes Vivi. 

“You kinda got it right,” Haseul points her index to Vivi, trying to become at ease as she’s about to start stating her purpose. “But I’m not yet an official director if that’s what you’re thinking.” 

Vivi stays silent. 

“I got rejected at my dream company and I thought about coming back here…” Haseul fastens her eyes. “Because I wanted to apologize to you all.” 

Haseul could not vibe what Vivi was thinking, doubting if she would continue. But she hears silence from the older, she kicked her shame out of her body and started talking again: 

“I know what I did was stupid. I just left you all. But I was scared. Of myself. That day. I was also disappointed in myself when I was so angry at you all and blamed you all that we got disqualified at the film festival. I was lost. Seeing you all again in that state… I don’t know what I’m capable of so I ran away. I don’t want to burst out all my emotions on you.” 

“Why 2 years?” 

A sob. 

Haseul opens her eyes and she did not expect it to come from Vivi. Haseul was about to comfort her again and help her but Vivi did not have any problems with her breathing. This wasn’t definitely a situation like earlier.

“Why did it take you two years to come back?” She turned her head low. “I waited for you, Haseul. All of us. They all got angry about you leaving, but I tried to understand you. I figured out you needed space and time for your thinking. We gave you that. _I_ _gave you that_. The others gave up and tried to forget you just like that but I did not, Haseul. _I did not_.”

As Vivi’s voice cracks in between her words, Haseul gets torn either stopping her, thinking maybe she’s having a panic attack or letting her continue, that she’s just overthinking and Vivi crying while talking like it is her normal.

Vivi uses her back palms to wipe her tears and takes down her stethoscope on the table. She reclines in her swivel chair, looking up to the ceiling, trying to stop her tears from coming out. Haseul could only watch her while gritting her teeth. 

“I’m sorry,” was all she could say.

“You should have said that two years ago.” Vivi immediately answers as she hears Haseul, she faces the younger again and makes her expressions tough.

“I was scared. I never found the right timing to come back until now. I distracted myself by trying to make a film but it did not work out, I did not work out with them. You guys…”

Haseul gulps.

“I only work perfectly with you. Sorry, I was late to realize that and I need you all again. I promise I will be better this time. No pressure like before. I will be--”

“No manipulation?” 

Haseul’s eyes widen, clueless about what Vivi was talking about. “Manipulation?” 

“You also manipulated us.” 

“I did?” 

“You used me. And I’ll never let you do it again.” It was the first time Haseul heard Vivi talking like that. Stern, emotionless, with emphasis but anger visible. Her brows weren’t furrowed but Vivi’s eyes are telling perfectly what she feels towards the aspiring director. 

“Hey… Vivi…” 

Haseul stands up and raises her hands in the air, surrendering to Vivi. “We can talk about this.” She takes a step and her heartbeat raises beyond the normal as Vivi’s glare follows her wherever she goes, which is towards the veterinarian. Now, she’s already in front of Vivi, the latter’s swivel chair has also turned towards her. 

“Maybe if you will tell me what exactly happened. We can sort things out… please…” Out of nervousness, hot liquid escapes from Haseul, streaming like waterfalls, making Haseul’s vision come blurry but it did not matter for her. Vivi’s reason for anger was all her mind, Haseul tries to remember everything, what among them made Vivi feel this much. 

“You can’t remember?” 

Slowly, Haseul shakes her head, she takes a step but Vivi makes her chair move backward until it bumps the wall.

“My scene with Sooyoung. When Sooyoung was begging for her life. You used my fear for blood and made Sooyoung’s blood more graphic that it triggers my fear but you said it will be much better. My acting would be more convincing. 

Everyone was already worried when my breathing came unstable but you still kept the camera rolling. You said you need something more and everything will become okay since you have an inhaler with you but it doesn’t work that way! 

Asthma is different from panic attacks! Even a non-medical professional will know that but you’re just dumb and selfless for the film’s sake.” 

Vivi closes her eyes and bangs her head on the chair then she heaves a sigh. Relieved because she finally lets out her outburst that she’s been keeping on for years. 

“ _That almost killed me, Haseul_. That was my worst, I even had a nightmare that I thought I would be killed.” Vivi’s raised voice subsided, it came on whispers but still audible for Haseul to hear, who was completely stunned, absorbing in everything she heard from Vivi. 

Then she remembers. 

The Haseul from two years ago. Competitive, passionate, the one who will risk everything, even other people from her team when she doesn’t own them at all. She’s feeling her dream job a little too much back in College, eh?

“I will agree to your deal.” 

Haseul blinks slowly, it just sunk into her. Vivi still accepted her. She was forgiven. 

Maybe the universe is trying to make her feel she isn’t the worst when she is. _Thank you for trying, I guess?_

“Please, don’t use someone’s emotions again or force anyone to something they cannot do.” Haseul nods and agrees to the deal that made Vivi’s smile to appear again, it made Haseul feel the light in her chest.

“C’mon, Yeo. Let’s face it, that snail won’t definitely live.”

“No! No! Let’s have Vivi check it out first. Vivi!”

The older two tilts their heads onto the door that just opened. Two teenagers appeared behind it.

The first shorter one has a white bucket hat and a mask, those two accessories cover the shorter’s face. She also wears an oversized jersey with long white sleeves on the inside. The taller one was wearing an inappropriate outfit, for a veterinary check-up, at least. A skirt reaches the taller’s foot and a navy blue sailor top, with red stripes and a red tie. Her hair was also messy and she got a lot of bloodstains on her face. 

“Vivi! Were you crying?” The taller one asks. When Vivi was still staring at her, the taller cleans up her face with her palm, it made smudges, instead. “Sorry, I wasn’t able to remove these blood make-up on my face. Yeojin pulled me from my cosplay event just because of her dying snail!” The taller points at Yeojin, who is on the verge of crying as she stares at her snail. 

“No worries, it doesn’t look like blood anyway.” Vivi smiles at her and turns her attention to Yeojin, “You got a weird pet again?” She chuckles as she gets the snail from Yeojin’s hands.

“C’mon, it isn’t weird! Spongebob has Gary!” 

“But you’re not Spongebob and you’re not under the sea.”

“Stop it, Yerim!” 

“Wait…” Yerim pauses as she finally finds someone they did not notice since their arrival, “Haseul?”

Haseul, being a complete statue from her position since earlier, finally decided to stop acting like one and faces the taller of the duo. She avoids Yerim after a quick fine stare and hangs her head low.

“It’s you!” 

Yeojin’s reaction was a complete contrast. Haseul looks at Yeojin, who she figures out has been staring at her since Haseul doesn’t know when. Haseul just looks back. Yeojin did the same.

Yerim decides to break in. “It’s been a while! Where have you been?” 

If Yerim was acting clueless, easing off the awkwardness, she’s still definitely good at it. 

“What… are you wearing?” Haseul changes the topic, and shifts off to the question she’s been dying to ask for since she saw Yerim.

“Ah, this?” Yerim looks down at her outfit and giggles when she looks at Haseul again. “I’ve been joining cosplay events as a part-time since I became a Senior High School student, it’s fun though and it also gives me money. Win-win.” Yerim explains with a cheerful voice. 

“Yeojin?” Yerim looks down to Yeojin, shaking her shoulders. “You’re not dreaming this time. It’s Haseul!” 

"Hello, Yeojin?" Haseul chuckles, she can taste her own awkwardness as she lets those words out of her mouth, "Do you still remember me?" 

It was a silly question, she knows. She just confirmed days ago the youngest is still trying to find her even after those years. Yeah, really really silly. Then again, she wasn't supposed to know about it. 

"I'm not dreaming right now, isn't it?" Yeojin asks, she puts down her mask, revealing her blood lips that used to be pale the last time Haseul remembers. 

Yeojin crashes into Haseul's after several questions and doubts she had in mind, surrounding her arms on Haseul, burying her head on the older’s chest. 

"I miss you…" were the only words Yeojin could say on repeat, she said it like a chant, words blurring but Yeojin did not stop, it even went fast. Thinking if she stops, the girl she's been longing for will disappear in her embrace, so she pulls her closer to her.

"This is real, right? You're Haseul? I'm hugging you?" Yeojin's voice came on muffles. But Haseul still understands, she will always understand everything about Yeojin, even her oddest doings. She nods as she reciprocates the hug. 

Yerim could only watch, feel happy for the younger. She has witnessed all of it. All of the words Yeojin had said to her about her feelings for their older friend that disappeared. All the burdens on Yerim's chest were finally blown away by the wind. 

"I'm here, Yeojin. I won't go away anymore."

Yeojin pulls away from Haseul and looks up to her. "When did you come back?" 

Haseul wipes the younger's cheeks with her thumbs as she answers, "Just a few hours ago. Afternoon." 

"Why did you come back?" Haseul turns at the speaker, who she did not expect, Yerim, throwing stern stares at her. 

Haseul lets out a gulp. A sudden feeling of strange fills up her senses the moment she met Yerim's eyes. She answers: 

"To make up to everyone. Apologize. And—" 

"Make a film again?" Yerim's brows were raised as she predicted Haseul's next words. 

Haseul bops her head. She faces the ground, expecting being thrown with harsh words from Yerim. Now that she heard Vivi, the last person she had expected to have hidden anger towards her. She starts to expect every unexpected thing she had thought of. 

"I'm—" 

"You're making a film again?" 

Haseul looks back to Yeojin and for the second time, she nods. 

"It's for Film for Freedom, right? Film for Freedom?" 

Haseul's eyes widened at Yeojin's answer. "How did you know?" 

"Well!" She puts her hands on her waist and poses. "I'm your location manager for a reason, Director!" 

"So yeah, I'm planning to reunite Idalso again and join Film for Freedom. You know," The aspiring filmmaker shrugs her shoulders. "Like the old days." A bittersweet smile made its way to her face.

"Yerim, you will join right?" Yeojin skips to Yerim and shakes her shoulders. Yerim did not know how long it had been when she saw Yeojin's eyes sparkle like this. But then, the lightness she’s feeling in her chest became lighter, even more, Yerim didn't know it was still possible for her to feel like this. 

Never wanting to disappoint Yeojin, Yerim smiles. As expected, the former embraces her, she almost got choked if it wasn’t for Vivi who entered the scene again.

“How’s my snail? Yeojin ended the hug and went to Vivi. Haseul was sure she heard a sigh from Yerim after that.

“Well…” A tight lip smile comes up on Vivi’s face, and by that, Yeojin slumps her shoulders.

“Snails aren’t supposed to be pets. I told you, Yeo.” Yerim says. It brought Yeojin’s mood down again.

Now that she’s left out of the talk, Haseul can’t help but ask. “What was it about?” 

“She never changed, Haseul.” Yerim answers. “She still picks up random animals on the road.” 

“At least it’s not a cockroach!” 

“Nye nye nye~” Yerim teases Yeojin, letting her tongue out and making several silly faces.

“Whatever!” The shorter yells in defeat, and faces Vivi. “Vivi! Haseul is planning to join the film festival again, you’re joining, right?” 

Vivi looks at Haseul first. But Haseul couldn’t identify the reason why Vivi did that. Strange

“Yup.” Vivi nods to Yeojin, “I’m joining too.” 

“Vivi,” Worry visible in Yerim’s voice as she calls the oldest, “Have you opened up…” 

Before Yerim continues what she was about to say, Vivi smiles at her, genuineness can be seen in her eyes as she smiles, giving relief to Yerim. “I already did. She promises she won’t do it again.” 

“You better do.” 

Haseul will take note of it. Now that she finds out there was a high chance that Yerim is mad at her, that she’s only the forced one so far to join the crew again, thanks to Yeojin. She better be careful with her approach towards the younger. She has only seen her today but Haseul is sure Yerim already changed a lot. She used to be a part of the hyper kids of Idalso Prod, yes. But this time, Yerim is undergoing her adolescence stage. Her emotions for sure, are easy to hit.

“Hey! What if…” 

But Yeojin stays the same. And Haseul is somehow, glad about that. 

“We go to _Burnham Park_ today? Then _Mines View?_ Let’s watch the sunset!” 

Just like that, Yerim went back to being Yeojin’s partner in crime.

“We definitely can’t miss the sunset today!” Yerim says in enjoyment. 

Yeojin points to Haseul. “You better treat us a boat ride.” 

Haseul lets out a chuckle, “I can’t see the reason why I should not.” 

The younger two did a high five. 

“Vivi! What about you? You should join us.” 

Vivi falls into silence and crosses her arms. Haseul giggles upon seeing Vivi doing that. 

“I will…” Yeojin yells a yes after those two words but goes silent again when Vivi puts her index on her lips. 

“If… you guys help me with those.” 

The veterinarian turns her head to the corner of the clinic, from where she and Haseul were staying earlier. Behind the sleeping cat, there are several boxes, bottles, and syringes. 

Yeojin looks at Yerim and Haseul, with her _imaginary_ telepathy powers she asks them if they’re agreeing to Vivi’s offer. Yeojin becomes convinced that her telepathy powers are actually legit as she finds out Yerim and Haseul’s answers. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! i wanna know how you are feeling about this story, so far. hehe.
> 
> Anyway, can someone find another izone related easter egg added in this chapter aside from Yujin's feature ;)


	4. The Spilled Tea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> almost a month after update, lmao. school has been stressing me out lately and academic break only gonna start on Wednesday (i hope more time for me to write! *pls let me be productive this break and at least finish this*)

Haseul cannot believe being a stranger in a place she grew up in for half of her life would be possible.

Her asking questions every second about every establishment they passed through proves that. However, Vivi was patient enough to answer Haseul’s questions. But Yeojin answered everything until they reached their destination. Meanwhile, Yerim is having a hard time removing her blood make-up using the bottled alcohol she took from Vivi’s clinic.

Yerim taking all of the traveling time removing her make-up makes Haseul think she’s doing it intentionally so they can’t have a conversation.

Haseul’s thoughts were proved false when she got partnered with Yerim during the boat ride for two. Yerim kept smiling and cheering on her to pedal harder during their little boat race. They even high-fived when they won, ending up with Vivi and Yeojin treating them for dinner at the newly opened restaurant Yeojin has been talking about since they left the clinic.

Haseul decided to stay home for the day as the three suggested her to do when they found out she hasn’t given herself a rest since she went back. They decided to cut off the trip after the early dinner and postponed their plan to watch the sunset.

Only Yerim and Yeojin continued the plan, as soon as they accompanied Haseul back home in which of course, Haseul insisted at first. The youngest was persistent enough so Haseul was left with no choice. In the meantime, Vivi went to the health center near the park since it was her intention of joining them.

After finally finishing unpacking her luggage, Haseul sits on the couch by the living room and opens her social media account. While scrolling on her newsfeed, Haseul stumbles upon Vivi’s post from yesterday.

_Wong Vivi posted 3 photos – with Im Yeojin and Choi Yerim_

_Early weekend bonding (more like third wheeling) with these two._

_75 likes_ _4 comments_

_Ha Sooyoung: smh i wasnt invited_

_Kim Jiwoo: YA WHY I DIDN’T SEE YOU THERE YESTERDAY_

_Jung Jinsoul: im one call away but,,, my heart is hurtening_

_Wong Vivi: have u heard of unexpected meetups? Lol._

Never would Haseul ever take more than 10 seconds to decide whether she will like or react to a post or not… until today. Commenting, maybe? But just making the like button go blue?

It’s not like other people (specifically, from her old friends) would scroll over Vivi’s 75 friends who reacted to her post and find her. Right? No one would?

_Right. No one would._

Haseul closes her eyes before going in slow motion on landing her thumb onto the screen. With full of hesitations but she continues to land her finger. _It’s just a like, right? No one would notice._

_No one would see it._

_No one._

_It’s just a like._

_It’s not a big deal._

_Her friends wouldn’t—_

“Kwon Eunbi!”

Haseul firmly closes her eyes before growling out of frustration as she hears the person from outside. When that someone yells again, she opens her eyes this time, she sees a reflection of herself from the black screen, instead. She tosses her phone onto the other side of the couch and heaves a sigh before standing up, deciding to contemplate on whether she was able to like that post or not.

The girl from the outside seems impatient as soon as she hears the third call. She yells back saying she’ll be coming in a minute. Haseul runs her way to the mirror beside the doorway. After checking herself, she grabs the flannel hanging on the mirror to cover her white tank top. It would be embarrassing enough to go out wearing such a revealing top and knee-length shorts.

And again, she’s in _Baguio._

The coldest place in the country. Her phone even notified her the temperature today was below 20, which is already considered normal. Only a true warrior would go out of their homes wearing the exact outfit Haseul was wearing today.

As soon as she hears the visitor about to shout the name of the owner of the house for the fourth time, she turns the doorknob and opens the door in a rush. The door creaks with that instant open, it’s still hanging on the doorway, at least.

A girl in an all-green attire, including the baseball cap and the mask, was waiting behind the railings of the house. Haseul still needs to take a few steps before she can open the gates for the delivery girl to finally end her struggle carrying Haseul’s grocery bags. Haseul grins as she sees the familiar brand of a milk tea shop on the delivery girl’s other hand.

“I’m sorry for keeping you waiting. I just fixed myself. Let me pay you a tip for compensation.” Haseul says, with the gates creaking as she finally opens them. Haseul almost flinches when she hears a thud from the box behind the delivery girl. In which she finds out, the girl throws her phone onto the box.

Haseul makes a quick scan for her groceries as she was used to the bad service she’s been getting lately before she came back. Nothing’s wrong so far. She concluded she should check thoroughly later inside.

The delivery girl gives Haseul a long paper to her surprise as most of the time, delivery drivers don’t show receipts as proof, in Haseul’s experience back in the city for the least.

Finding out it would take her a long time to read everything in the paper, Haseul gestures to the entrance of the house. The delivery girl starts walking, Haseul carries the rest of the bags before closing the gates.

“I already carried the rest,” Haseul speaks as she levels her distance between her and the delivery girl.

The girl raises her head and faces Haseul, “Oh… t-that’s so kind of you. Thank you.” She lowers her head again.

Haseul shrugs her shoulders, speeding up her walking, opening the door for the delivery girl.

“Hey…” Haseul approaches after placing down the groceries on the couch. “I opened the heater. You can remove your cap and mask.” She goes to the table to grab her milk tea. She punches through the lid and starts to sip. “Are you sure you’re gonna work with that? It’s getting hot in here.”

The girl shakes her head.

If it wasn’t for the loud yells Haseul heard earlier, she would have thought the delivery girl was deaf. Unless she asks someone to do so. Haseul wouldn’t find out.

“Sorry for asking but…” Haseul pulls the chair slowly before sitting down, trying to get a glimpse of the girl’s face but the latter pulls down her cap. “Can you talk?”

Haseul wasn’t sure. She may have heard it wrong. There’s a chuckle behind the mask.

“Of course, I can.”

The girl removes one side of her face mask, revealing her whole face. She snickers as she sees Haseul as she sipped her tea, gulping while staring at her.

"Do you remember—" 

Before the girl could even finish her words, the ground catches Haseul's milk tea, spilling both of their shoes. 

"Jungeun…" 

The said name bowed, shaking her head when she saw the stains on her pants and shoes, the shoes she washed two days ago. Jungeun faces Haseul again, who is still in complete shock. 

Jungeun covers both of Haseul's shaking hands, they felt rough as the former was wearing the gloves motorcycle drivers usually use. 

"You paid for additional assistance, right?" Jungeun asks, roaming her eyes around the living room. "Where's the mop?" 

Haseul shakes her head. "I just moved in here…" 

"Right. I really thought Eunbi was the one who ordered these. I was really surprised. That girl loves grocery shopping— Ah, there's the mop." Jungeun points something behind Haseul, the latter doesn't bother to look at it but instead keeps staring at Jungeun's face. It didn't last long when Jungeun walked to the mop's place and started pumping for water. 

"I didn't know you were working…" Haseul says when Jungeun went back to the table with a mop on her hand. Jungeun starts mopping the spilled tea, Haseul raises her legs to her seat. 

"I didn't know you came back." The voice comes out robotic. Haseul could only let out an awkward chuckle. 

"You know, I can do that later. What about you stay here for lunch?" Haseul offers and stands, avoiding the part Jungeun cleaned. 

"I need to do my job." Jungeun starts taking out the first pack of groceries as she puts down the mop beside the kitchen shelf. "Addition assistance takes a huge amount." She adds. 

Haseul chuckles at Jungeun's _professionalism._ This is so unlikely of Jungeun as what Haseul remembers. 

"C'mon." Haseul grabs Jungeun's hand, which was about to bring out a box of soap from the bag. "We're friends." She shows off the most sincere smile she can offer despite her pounding heart because of this sudden encounter. 

" _Friends_ ?" Jungeun shrugs Haseul's hand and chuckles when she spits out _that word. "You don't leave your friends."_

This is where Jungeun builds the border between them. She's the employee and Haseul is her customer. She should comply with everything the customer needs, except for her personal offers. Haseul is not Jungeun's friend today but a customer. 

_Is she still a friend?_ Jungeun starts to ask herself. 

"But I'm here now?" Haseul widens her arms, initiating a hug but Jungeun does not even bother to stop from working and hugs Haseul back. Haseul takes her arms down after a solid half-minute and grasps her hands together, secretly begging Jungeun to— honestly, Haseul doesn't know. She's _fucking clueless._ It's been eating her ego. 

She decided to spend the rest of the time observing Jungeun in everything, _she really means it._ She knows ever since she started the staring, it's been the 36th item Jungeun takes out of the second bag she pulls up. Jungeun makes pauses and that's when Haseul starts reading the soap ingredients she got from the first time she avoided Jungeun's gaze. 

"Am I the first?" Jungeun asks as she takes the 55th item out of the third bag at the 20th minute since she arrived. 

"Huh?" 

"First one." 

56th item… and last bag to unpack. There's still a box on the floor.

"First one to what?" 

"Meet?" 

Haseul almost jumped out of her seat when Jungeun took out the blade from the cutter like it was nothing. It also felt strange because she remembers Jungeun freaking out before when she saw Yeojin playing with fake knives. 

"Ah!" Haseul's raised voice was followed by Jungeun cutting out the rope from the box. Jungeun continues after freaking out for 5 seconds. "No. The fifth." Haseul continues after 20 seconds. 

"Fifth?" 

"Yeah." She grabs for the nth item she got for today, it was a bubble gum this time. She opens it and starts to munch. "Heejin, Vivi, Yeojin, Yerim." Haseul counts with her fingers. She points her thumb to Jungeun. "You're the fifth." 

"And since when you were here? Last week?" 

"Yesterday afternoon." 

Jungeun pauses for the _Haseul lost count_ time. "Afternoon?" 

"I'm kind of fast isn't it?" She finally dared to joke around but there was still an awkward chuckle behind that joke, that she hopes Jungeun doesn't feel. 

"I gotta say that." Jungeun tilts her head, agreeing. "What brings you _back?_ " 

"Ah…" _It's a little too early._ Based on Haseul's _100% intuition vibe check because she's not some sort of psychiatrist at all_ , she just got a vibe check from Jungeun. So, _not yet._

"Do you know where the others are?" She shifts the topic. 

"Others? Idalso?" Jungeun receives a nod, she catches that through her peripheral vision. 

"To be honest with you, it's been a while since I saw everyone so I'm not sure about where they are now. Ironically speaking that my job is all about traveling around the city but I haven't seen them since a month ago." She slumps her shoulders before closing her eyes and lets out a sigh. "Well, this is what I remember… 

"Sooyoung and I raced a month ago. Me with the motorcycle and her with the skateboard. She's crazy for that. She finished college but she's now treating skateboarding as a passion… Ah, right! Jinsoul asked me to buy her a set of G-techs when she was doing some complicated Maths a few days—" 

"Wait." Haseul cuts Jungeun off. "Jinsoul is still doing _it_?" 

"She still does." 

Haseul doesn't want to assume Jungeun smiled because of _her._ The vibe check improved positively, at least. 

Jungeun told Haseul quite a bit of storytelling with few cut-offs because of Haseul's questions and a long pause when Jungeun starts going to the kitchen shelves and arranges the canned goods. Haseul attempts to insist her to continue the storytelling on the table but Jungeun is way too dedicated to her job. 

But Haseul got every basics she needed to know about the rest so far. 

Jinsoul is taking her Master's in the same university they all met. Jiwoo is in her third year in College. Hyunjin is running a weekly podcast that Jungeun only found out about through a radio advertisement from her working place. 

Jungeun also told stories about the first four Haseul met yesterday. Heejin did not go to college and instead decided to run an art studio her parents gave her. Everyone would agree Heejin is too professional already to pursue College. Yerim and Yeojin are taking their last year in Senior High School, HUMSS strand.

"About Hyejoo… I think she's also working hard on part times _lately_?" Jungeun sounds unsure. 

"Lately?" 

"Oh right." Haseul thinks Jungeun was supposed to raise her voice at that time but she did not, the former thinks Jungeun's monotonous voice is terrifying her. "We worked together a couple of times."

"Delivering around the city?" 

Jungeun nods. 

Haseul gasps. "Oh God, _that_ must have been exhausting for her." 

"I know." Jungeun sighs. "That's why when she comes to my work and asks for a gig, I ask my boss right away to pair her up with me." 

"When was the last time?" 

"It's been a while. I think she got a permanent job on the UniHub with Chaewon." 

"Uni Hub?" Haseul raises her eyebrows. 

For the first time since they enter the house, Jungeun looks at Haseul. When she figures the latter has been doing the same thing since she doesn't know when, but she concludes it's been a long while, she breaks the stare, looking at the cans on her both hands, decides to contemplate on which one she would place first on the shelf. 

"Jungeun?" 

"Ah right, Uni Hub!" Jungeun gasps as she almost lets the rest of the cans on the counter fall. "Uni Hub?" She turns her head to Haseul's direction but not directly at her this time, but at the set of hygiene she needed to do after the cans. 

"Yeah. What's a Uni Hub?" Haseul asks. Jungeun's eyes widened when she realized Haseul has been waiting for her answer for a minute now. 

"It was built last year." 

"Near the uni?" 

Jungeun only nods. If it wasn't for her wobbling legs and shivering hands, she would answer back Haseul is dumb to ask that question as it was already obvious hence the name _but she didn't._ She's here. In front of the shelves, deciding if she should sort the cans again by their color or by brand. 

"Yeah. It was built last year." 

Haseul only hmm-ed as a response. Jungeun continues the stacking. A minute or two, maybe? That's when Jungeun remembers what she said earlier. She mentally slaps herself for that and told herself how dumb she is today for accepting Haseul's order and thought the milk tea formula was just a coincidence. 

Because who the hell is being specific with the number of boba they want on their milk tea? 

She should have known. Jungeun should have rejected. 

"Oh, so it was a hangout place for students. PC Bang, Netflix rent-a-room, karaoke place, coffee shop, and a library. Karaoke and library in one place? This place must have been a disaster." Haseul laughs at her cellphone, Jungeun feels disappointed at herself when she wasn't able to answer that question. The information should have come from her. It's her job. 

"All walls are soundproof, making sure everything will be at peace." Jungeun defends, she breathes out after, releasing every inch of nervousness and frustration her body is holding in. 

"Uhm, Jungeun." Haseul calls, she sighed before continuing. "I'm sorry for everything." 

"Finally, you answered my question earlier. I should have known." Jungeun shakes her head vigorously, hoping her tears would wipe away by themselves. "You're such a coward for only coming back now." 

"I know." 

"I know?" Jungeun mocks Haseul's dramatic tone, to match along with her cracking voice, she perfectly imitated it, though. It comes off rude as she wants. "Character development, I see." She dusts off her hands after she placed the last can on the shelf, with the brand name facing the wall. "Hey. I already finished everything. I still have one delivery to go, though. I'll send the refund to your account later." Jungeun says, snatching her cap from the table. 

"Wait, _Jungie_!" Haseul gets on Jungeun's way. 

"Wow…" Jungeun shakes her head while laughing. "The audacity to call me that again." She glares at Haseul, belittling her even with the small height difference between them. 

"Please. I need you all." 

Jungeun looks at the ceiling, avoiding Haseul's glassy eyes. She closes hers firmly before facing Haseul again. "You think you're gonna get us easily? One sorry and that's it?" She exhales. "You didn't change, _Jo._ You still think lowly of everyone just because you used to be our leader or director of whatever dream you wanna be." 

"But I already changed now!" Haseul did not flinch like what it's most likely for her to happen when she raises her voice to Jungeun. 

"Please. I really _really_ need to make this project happen." She closes her eyes after saying those words, she hears nothing. She already expected Jungeun would grab this opportunity to escape and she accepted her fate before opening her eyes. 

But Jungeun is still there. 

Haseul's eyes widened as her _idea bulb_ lit up. 

This is the last push she needs. Her confidence boosts when this idea pops into her. 

" _I'll pay you this time!_ " Haseul says in excitement. 

Jungeun stares at her, frowning. "What?" 

"I'm paying you guys this time!" 

Her blocks of confidence get destroyed when it's about to reach the peak when Jungeun shakes her head. 

_No. No. No._

She starts to build it up again. 

"I'm really sorry about everything. I mean it when I said I already changed. I'm not that…" Haseul lets out a sigh. "manipulative person you guys knew." Jungeun smirks but Haseul saw that as a positive sign. "I already apologized to Vivi about this! If ever I manipulated you in any way I'm unconscious of as my _assistant director_ , I deeply apologize for that. This time, I'm going to be careful." 

The long pause motivates Haseul to finally get the answer she's been waiting for. She starts scrubbing her hands, lowering herself to Jungeun's eye level as the latter is facing the ground, her height comes off as a benefit in this situation. 

Jungeun closes her eyes and exhales as if she came out from diving. 

"I'm thinking about it but I really need this job so much so don't expect from me, Haseul. I'm sorry." 

Only a few walks are needed. Jungeun can sight the gates from where she is. She can run and she will, she starts. But Jungeun's feet got too exhausted from the emotions that she ended up only walking away as if gravity was stopping her to move faster. 

And that's how Haseul manages to block her way again. 

"How much do you need?" Haseul asks, frowning, with a wallet in her hand, seems like she's intentionally showing it to Jungeun. 

"What the fuck, Haseul?" 

She will try every bit of idea her _idea bulb_ will tell her to do. 

"Don't you miss the old times?" 

"I do but—" 

"You do!" Haseul repeats, balling her fist, she shakes Jungeun's shoulders. "We were given a chance to do it again! To _relive_ the old days." 

"I will think about it. I really need to go." She pats Haseul's head and draws the most sincere smile she can offer to the latter from all the exhaustion she got from earlier. 

Jungeun concludes Haseul will finally stop begging her as when she went out to the gates and insert her keys into the ignition, Haseul did not talk. 

That's what she thought. 

"What's stopping you to say yes?" 

Jungeun slowly brings her helmet down and turns to Haseul. She felt terrified the moment they met gazes. 

"Why is that job important to you? I'm already giving you the most convenient job you can get." Haseul adds. She did not bother fixing her messy hair Jungeun caused. "How much do you need? She repeats her question from earlier, Jungeun thought she heard it wrong at first. 

"What?" Jungeun stutters, close to thinking she's talking to a different person. 

"How much does your job give you? You know I can give you more than that!" Haseul roars, she starts unzipping her wallet. She shows off bills that Jungeun could only wish she can have. 

"You know I can give you double, triple—" 

"I can't believe you." Jungeun looks at Haseul with disbelief. Her words seem powerful enough to defeat the _monster_ inside Haseul. Haseul looks back at her in surprise, her face softens. 

"That's how desperate you are, huh?" Jungeun chuckles. "I'll try you then." She starts to wear her helmet again and starts kicking on the ignition. 

Haseul could only watch Jungeun's motorcycle leave in front of her eyes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the first fail on haseul's mission. oh, oh. what she gonna do?


End file.
